This just in ... I'm a tad odd. I prefer eccentric, but whatevah. So, I'm in this class this week learning how to do Project Management. Believe me, it was as thrilling as it sounds. I'm going to try to make this story short, but it'll probably get long and suck and ya'll can bite me. Hmm ... come to think of it, maybe the class should've been Anger Management.

Anyway, so at one point, we're doing this thing where you assign people to jobs, and there's a point where you assign too many hours to one person and have to learn how to fix that in the software. So, our instructor made some joke about "Writer 1" complaining about having too much work ("Writer 1" being one of the people you assign).

Damnit. See, I told you this story would get long and boring. Feh, I'm too far in now. Anyway, so we're supposed to go to this graph part, and put a note in about Writer 1 having too much work. 'Course, that wasn't good enough for me. I wrote "Writer 1 is a wanker!", and highlighted it.

I know. It's not really that funny. But, for some dumbass reason, I found it hilarious, and nearly snorted water through my nose trying not to bust out laughing in the middle of class. It was quite the scene, man. I've always been a fan of the word wanker. File that away for future reference.

Other notes on the class:

- People, in general, are idiots. That's my conclusion, and probably the main thing I learned in class. If I had a dollar for every dumb question ... well, I'd have a lot of dollars but not THAT much money. Let's not get crazy here. Couple hundred bucks, though, all in singles. I'd have strippers following me around like stray dogs.
- I've perfected the technique for pretending like you're rubbing your eyes, yet you're catching a few quick winks. I also used the cousin of that move, where you put your hand over one eye, then switch.
- I've also realized that when you start dozing off, you sorta cross your eyes, and they're nearly impossible to keep open. Weird. I've also noticed the same thing when climaxi- ... um, never mind.
- It's a really, really, REALLY bad idea to have a big lunch then come back to class and try to stay awake. See the crossed eyes point above.

I managed to survive Halloween. I have a sweet tooth. Big time. I mean, you show me a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup, and it's like showing Tara Reid an open bottle of tequila. Lots of slobbering, overt begging, and someone's getting laid. Um ... yeah.

I did, however, have 3 pints of frozen yogurt this week. The Safeway people apparently thought it would be hilarious to first put Haagen Daas on sale, then follow that up with a sale on Ben & Jerry's. Pricks. I'm quite the sight in front of the ice cream freezer, too. Face pressed up against the glass, tongue out, steaming it up. Think Tara Reid in front of a liquor store. Um ... yeah.

I watched the new Madonna video the other day. Yup, she's still hot. Jeez. I'm of the mindset that, at her peak, I would've been scared to death to have sex with her. I mean, I just envision being all ready to go in the bed, then her suddenly stopping, sitting up and doing the thing where you put your fingers in your mouth and make that really piercing whistle sound, and then the door opens and in walks:

- two male dancers
- a 6'2" woman in leather
- a cook wearing one of those cook hats (hell, I dunno where that comes from ... that's my head, and I can't help it)
- an entire video crew
- the paparazzi
- a donkey wearing a tutu

Let's just say that, amazing as it may sound, I might've passed on sleeping with Madonna. But she's still hot.