So, I've come to the conclusion that cats don't have very good senses of humor (sense of humors? senses of humors? whatevah). Last night, I'm doing my best Rain Man imitation, and they're just giving me this blank look. You know, stuff like this:

Yeah, I'm definitely going to fill the food bowl. Definitely filling the food bowl. Yeah.
'Course, I'm an excellent litter box scooper. O-O-Only on Sundays.
Two minutes to petting time. 'Course, this is Tuesday, petting time is usually on T-T-Thursday.

I mean, this is top notch humor. I'm telling ya, I got zero response. Bupkis! Nuttin!

Twerps.

Went to the Beck show on Wednesday. The show was kind of disappointing - saw him a couple of years ago, and that show was much better. But, I'm not here to talk about the show ... I'm here to talk about idiots. Let's review:

- Yuppi-ish dork in dockers and a button down that can't seem to figure out his electronic picture taking device ... SIT YOUR ASS DOWN!
- Yuppi-ish chick with Yuppi-ish dork who can figure out how to work her video taking device and who stands up to do it ... SIT YOUR ASS DOWN!
- Nerdy li'l 5' twerp who dances like he's got a bee in his underwear ... SIT YOUR ASS DOWN!
- Teenage girls who spent the entire show yapping about some boy who kissed one of your friends ... STFU!

A'ight, so I was a little annoyed. I mean, I have no issues with people wanting to stand at a show at the appropriate times. But, this dumbass lady was in the second row, the people in front of her are sitting, and she's the only one standing up in our section ... just so she can get video of the show. Um, hello? How about WATCHING THE SHOW? Meantime, me, my friend, the people behind me, and the people behind them all have to crane to see around this yutz. I felt like asking her if we could come over and watch the video, since we didn't get to see the show. Dumb, dumb people.

The li'l dude wasn't so bad, simply because he was too small to get in anyone's way. However, Beck played a couple of tunes from an album that he wrote after a rough breakup - I mean, this is pull your heart out stuff - and this dork is still dancing to it. Dipass mofo.

The chicks behind us ... um, call me crazy, but I came to hear Beck, not you. I'm sure if I were around you, I could hear you talk all the time, since you never seem to STFU. That's not even worthy of dorknerd status. That's just plain bonerish.

A'ight, now that I've got that out! I spent part of the show trying to figure out what you call Beck's music. I came up with a name for it. Ready?

Hippy Spanky Dork Rock.

Maybe the Hippy Spanky part should be hyphenated. Hippy-Spanky Dork Rock. Sold.

I haven't vomited in over a year. In case you were wondering.

Someone in the office just played "Get Down Tonight" by KC and the Sunshine Band. Yup, now I'm doing the hustle in my head. Check me out ... I can really get down ... tonight. I'm even wearing my best bell bottoms.

I saw Phillip Seymour Hoffman on the Daily Show last night. He's starring as Truman Capote in a new movie called ... uh, Truman. Creative, eh? Anyway, it looks fantastic, and he's one of the better unknown actors out there, so get ready. You've been warned.

I think Steph on Survivor has been replaced ... I'm very much into this hot thang named Danni. Steph's still on the radar ... I mean, I wouldn't kick her out of bed for eating crackers, as a buddy used to say ... but Danni ... yumma humma.