Ever have one of those weekends when there's something you have to do? You know, one of those pain in the butt things that you don't want to do, but ya have to? You have? You've had one of those? Ha ha! Suckers!
Let's recap, shall we? On second thought, I'll recap and you read. It's easier that way.
Friday. Hit the Bay Cafe with one of my friends from work. We've been doing this Bay Cafe happy hour thing, where you get 2 for 1 drinks and walk out of the joint right around sundown unable to see straight. Weird thing is, usually when we were splittin', the joint seemed to be picking up. So, we decided to start a little later, see? Thinkin', and all that. It's all about strategy - if we get there later, we'll be in prime time.
So, got there at 7. 'Course, my friend was late, so I got to stand around like a yutz for 30 minutes trying to act cool. You know, the hand in the pocket, acting like I knew someone on the other side of the room. There's a whole strategy to acting cool, too. Maybe one of these days, I'll figure it out. I did manage to strike up a conversation with a young lady, who worked her boyfriend into the conversation within 30 seconds. I think it was something along the lines of "hey, nice to meet [cough, boyfriend!] you." Always a fun thing. So, anyway, my friend finally shows up, we're hanging out and drinking, and right about the time we usually leave, the joint completely and totally dies. I mean, you couldn't have cleared out the place faster if you were showing Roseanne sex tapes on the TV monitors. Or if Rush Limbaugh had walked in the door.
Unfortunately, we're sitting there with our freshly made 2 for 1 drinks in front of us. Not the wisest idea to go slamming the good cap'n ... he has a tendency to turn into a bad pirate when you do that. So, we had to sit around in the Dead Cafe for a bit and finish 'em off. The good news is that we've clearly been trend-setters the past few weekends by leaving when we did. Who knew?
A quick aside - black cherry jelly is the finest creation in the history of mankind. You think I'm kidding? Some day, black cherry jelly will RULE THE WORLD! You mark my words, people.
Ok, so from there, we headed up to the Square. My friend hadn't ever been to the Square, so I had to give her the tour - you know, Claddaugh's, Looney's, Colburn's and, of course, my home away from home, Portside. I even explained why I call Looney's the "bar of 5s". So, we go to Portside, and there's this hecka darlin' woman there that I'm giving the eye. My friend asks me what I'd rate her on a scale, and I tell her I'd give her a solid 8.5.
Friend-O proceeds to go over to the chick and tell her that I think she's an 8.5. Um, just a note for all of you female wingpeople ... if you're using this strategy, don't tell the woman she's an 8.5 - tell her she's a 10! Dag. Needless to say, I didn't get too far with chicky girl. In return, I ducked out of the way when my friend was asked to dance by a nerd boy. Heh. Turnabout can be some fun stuff sometimes.
On the way home, I woke up the neighbor to see if she had any leftover Chinese food. That didn't go over well. The neighbor and I have a love/hate relationship, minus some of the love. It's fascinating.
For those completely out of the loop, the Fell's Point Festival was this weekend. It's a little disturbing when you're so excited about a festival that you can't sleep the night before. I got home around 2 or so on Friday, and I got to bed around 4. I laid in bed for 2 hours thinking about all of the fun things I was going to do the next night. Yeesh.
Hit the gym for a good workout, then we started our day at a mini block party of hillbillies. I mean, these were some serious good ol' boys. I don't think you were allowed in without either (1) a tattoo, (2) fake boobs or (3) both. A fascinating study in social culture to start the day.
Split out of there in the early afternoon, and hit the festival. Notes:
- the Admiral's Cup is officially a weird ass place. We used to live there on Fridays when the clock struck midnight. Now, I have trouble going in there without my strange-o-meter going off. Plus, a dark, skanky bar isn't always the best place when it's beautiful outside. At least the drinks were free.
- The rooftop bar at Slainte is quite possibly my favorite secret. It's rarely crowded, and has one of the better views in Fell's Point. I hung out there by myself for about an hour, waiting for a buddy to show (long story, that).
- Running into a former hookup is one thing. Running into two is another. Running into THREE is just wrong. Fortunately, one of them decided to call me at 4 am. That's always a great idea. Needless to say, I didn't answer. Ok, that's not needless to say, since I'm not above a 4 am hookup, but I didn't answer anyway. So there.
- I came very close to meeting Miss Myspace Hotness, aka Sandra. Well, at least I think I came close. Eh, I was drunk, I probably wasn't close at all. Friggin' redheaded hot thangs.
- A great way to get a woman's number ... the surprise attack! I ran into a friend of a friend, who I think is kinda toasty, and before I even said hello, I asked for her number. Done and done. Haven't called it yet, though ... it's probably the number for KFC or something. Hmm ... I do like me some KFC. That might not be a bad thing.
- Pretzel dogs rule. I had nothing to eat all day, then had a pretzel dog, fries, and ... um ... something else later on. If you don't know what a pretzel dog is, ya better ask somebody. A couple of thousand calories after midnight is always a brilliant move, too.
- The next time someone tries to get me to go into the Green Turtle, I'm tackling them and beating the urine out of them. It's that simple.
Sunday was a beautiful day. The sun was shining, perfect temps, a slight breeze, fuhgedaboudit. At least that's what it looked like from the couch. I barely left it. I think I got up to whizz once, and I got up to answer the door when the delivery dude brought my food.
Let's recap, shall we? On second thought, I'll recap and you read. It's easier that way.
Friday. Hit the Bay Cafe with one of my friends from work. We've been doing this Bay Cafe happy hour thing, where you get 2 for 1 drinks and walk out of the joint right around sundown unable to see straight. Weird thing is, usually when we were splittin', the joint seemed to be picking up. So, we decided to start a little later, see? Thinkin', and all that. It's all about strategy - if we get there later, we'll be in prime time.
So, got there at 7. 'Course, my friend was late, so I got to stand around like a yutz for 30 minutes trying to act cool. You know, the hand in the pocket, acting like I knew someone on the other side of the room. There's a whole strategy to acting cool, too. Maybe one of these days, I'll figure it out. I did manage to strike up a conversation with a young lady, who worked her boyfriend into the conversation within 30 seconds. I think it was something along the lines of "hey, nice to meet [cough, boyfriend!] you." Always a fun thing. So, anyway, my friend finally shows up, we're hanging out and drinking, and right about the time we usually leave, the joint completely and totally dies. I mean, you couldn't have cleared out the place faster if you were showing Roseanne sex tapes on the TV monitors. Or if Rush Limbaugh had walked in the door.
Unfortunately, we're sitting there with our freshly made 2 for 1 drinks in front of us. Not the wisest idea to go slamming the good cap'n ... he has a tendency to turn into a bad pirate when you do that. So, we had to sit around in the Dead Cafe for a bit and finish 'em off. The good news is that we've clearly been trend-setters the past few weekends by leaving when we did. Who knew?
A quick aside - black cherry jelly is the finest creation in the history of mankind. You think I'm kidding? Some day, black cherry jelly will RULE THE WORLD! You mark my words, people.
Ok, so from there, we headed up to the Square. My friend hadn't ever been to the Square, so I had to give her the tour - you know, Claddaugh's, Looney's, Colburn's and, of course, my home away from home, Portside. I even explained why I call Looney's the "bar of 5s". So, we go to Portside, and there's this hecka darlin' woman there that I'm giving the eye. My friend asks me what I'd rate her on a scale, and I tell her I'd give her a solid 8.5.
Friend-O proceeds to go over to the chick and tell her that I think she's an 8.5. Um, just a note for all of you female wingpeople ... if you're using this strategy, don't tell the woman she's an 8.5 - tell her she's a 10! Dag. Needless to say, I didn't get too far with chicky girl. In return, I ducked out of the way when my friend was asked to dance by a nerd boy. Heh. Turnabout can be some fun stuff sometimes.
On the way home, I woke up the neighbor to see if she had any leftover Chinese food. That didn't go over well. The neighbor and I have a love/hate relationship, minus some of the love. It's fascinating.
For those completely out of the loop, the Fell's Point Festival was this weekend. It's a little disturbing when you're so excited about a festival that you can't sleep the night before. I got home around 2 or so on Friday, and I got to bed around 4. I laid in bed for 2 hours thinking about all of the fun things I was going to do the next night. Yeesh.
Hit the gym for a good workout, then we started our day at a mini block party of hillbillies. I mean, these were some serious good ol' boys. I don't think you were allowed in without either (1) a tattoo, (2) fake boobs or (3) both. A fascinating study in social culture to start the day.
Split out of there in the early afternoon, and hit the festival. Notes:
- the Admiral's Cup is officially a weird ass place. We used to live there on Fridays when the clock struck midnight. Now, I have trouble going in there without my strange-o-meter going off. Plus, a dark, skanky bar isn't always the best place when it's beautiful outside. At least the drinks were free.
- The rooftop bar at Slainte is quite possibly my favorite secret. It's rarely crowded, and has one of the better views in Fell's Point. I hung out there by myself for about an hour, waiting for a buddy to show (long story, that).
- Running into a former hookup is one thing. Running into two is another. Running into THREE is just wrong. Fortunately, one of them decided to call me at 4 am. That's always a great idea. Needless to say, I didn't answer. Ok, that's not needless to say, since I'm not above a 4 am hookup, but I didn't answer anyway. So there.
- I came very close to meeting Miss Myspace Hotness, aka Sandra. Well, at least I think I came close. Eh, I was drunk, I probably wasn't close at all. Friggin' redheaded hot thangs.
- A great way to get a woman's number ... the surprise attack! I ran into a friend of a friend, who I think is kinda toasty, and before I even said hello, I asked for her number. Done and done. Haven't called it yet, though ... it's probably the number for KFC or something. Hmm ... I do like me some KFC. That might not be a bad thing.
- Pretzel dogs rule. I had nothing to eat all day, then had a pretzel dog, fries, and ... um ... something else later on. If you don't know what a pretzel dog is, ya better ask somebody. A couple of thousand calories after midnight is always a brilliant move, too.
- The next time someone tries to get me to go into the Green Turtle, I'm tackling them and beating the urine out of them. It's that simple.
Sunday was a beautiful day. The sun was shining, perfect temps, a slight breeze, fuhgedaboudit. At least that's what it looked like from the couch. I barely left it. I think I got up to whizz once, and I got up to answer the door when the delivery dude brought my food.
posted by AxnJxn at 6:42 PM
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