Pillow flipper, elevator notes, sod off!
Current mood: promptly late
I'm a pillow flipper. Now, before you go gettin' all crazy with ideas of what that means, lemme explain. I tend to flip my pillows over to the cool side during a night of sleep. I mentioned this to one of my friends one time, and he acted like I had just talked about using hamsters for surfboards or something. I mean, a leper would get a better look. So, if there are other pillow flippers out there, bring it. I'm with ya. I may even start a group ... PFU ... Pillow Flippers United!
Along with that, I also have something like 6-7 pillows in my bed. I'm seriously close to sleeping straight up sometimes. I also sleep horribly if I only have one or two pillows. So, now you know why thoughts like this come out of my head. Want to write idiotic blogs like this? Well, just get yourself a handfull of pillows for your bed, and you'll soon be churning out this sorta noise.
'Course, it could also be due to all of the 'mental experiments' I did in college. Let's move on ...
So, we all have the story of the dope that gets on the elevator and pushes the button that's already lit. Well, yesterday, I had sort of a reverse situation. I walk out to the lifts (I'm getting English on your heiny here), and this dude is standing there waiting, yet neither the up or down button is lit. I was a tad confused by this ... kinda like seeing a guy with a human head in his hand at the deli, only without the human head. Hmm ... ok, that didn't work at all.
Anyway, so I just sorta stood there for about 10 seconds. I wasn't sure if (a) the light was broken (44% chance), (b) he was an idiot (42% chance) or (c) he was waiting for his spaceship to pick him up (14% chance). Luckily, before I had to make that decision, he leaned over and pushed the button. Weird. Needless to say, I waited for the next one.
I have lots of elevator stuff, but I think I'll save that for later. I don't want to put you to sleep too quickly, my pets.
Here's what it's like to be me. I wake up this morning, and the first thought in my head is what a cool expression "sod off" is. I mean, you can say that to people in America, and they have no idea they are being insulted. Sod off, dude! This is my thought process upon awakening. Must be the pillow effect. Or is that affect?
Ok, here's a note from the rock concert I went to last night. Ever notice that women will grab other women to go dance, and walk/run/dance as provocatively as possible all the way to the dance floor? Maybe I'm the only one noticing this stuff.
So, here's the latest cat move at my house. Well, it's been going on forever, but this is the first time I'm airing it in public. It's therapeutic. Feeding time is a bit of an issue between the fur-coated ones and myself. They get fed in the morning when I get up, but it's generally after I take a shower and get myself all prettied up. Unfortunately, they seem to think that I should jump out of bed and immediately sprint downstairs (just like they do ... they even show me how to do it) and feed them. Now, there are two comical things that happen from this situation:
(1) When I'm heading for the bathroom to shower, I happen to pass the stairs on the way. I like to give them a little fake like I'm going downstairs, and watch them sprint down. Always good for a chuckle. They stand at the bottom with this bewildered look on their faces EVERY SINGLE DAY! It's like they have no memory at all. Classic.
(2) I generally brush my teeth last. At this point in time, Batman will run up the bathtub and jump on the sink with his front paws and look at me, then run back to the stairs. Sort of a "let's move it along, dumbass, I'm wasting away here" sorta move. Also never fails to crack me up.
Oh, and I referenced a friend who had a ram farm in an earlier blog. Turns out, there were only two rams, not an entire farm like I thought. So, my cover is blown. Instead, they had a broccoli farm! Imagine that as a kid. I mean, I grew up on a chicken farm with some cows, we had eggs, milk, etc. This poor child grew up with nuttin' but broccoli for miles and miles and miles. That's rough. That'd be like growing up on a Michael Jackson farm.
A'ight, I'm going to go work on my analogies ...
Current mood: promptly late
I'm a pillow flipper. Now, before you go gettin' all crazy with ideas of what that means, lemme explain. I tend to flip my pillows over to the cool side during a night of sleep. I mentioned this to one of my friends one time, and he acted like I had just talked about using hamsters for surfboards or something. I mean, a leper would get a better look. So, if there are other pillow flippers out there, bring it. I'm with ya. I may even start a group ... PFU ... Pillow Flippers United!
Along with that, I also have something like 6-7 pillows in my bed. I'm seriously close to sleeping straight up sometimes. I also sleep horribly if I only have one or two pillows. So, now you know why thoughts like this come out of my head. Want to write idiotic blogs like this? Well, just get yourself a handfull of pillows for your bed, and you'll soon be churning out this sorta noise.
'Course, it could also be due to all of the 'mental experiments' I did in college. Let's move on ...
So, we all have the story of the dope that gets on the elevator and pushes the button that's already lit. Well, yesterday, I had sort of a reverse situation. I walk out to the lifts (I'm getting English on your heiny here), and this dude is standing there waiting, yet neither the up or down button is lit. I was a tad confused by this ... kinda like seeing a guy with a human head in his hand at the deli, only without the human head. Hmm ... ok, that didn't work at all.
Anyway, so I just sorta stood there for about 10 seconds. I wasn't sure if (a) the light was broken (44% chance), (b) he was an idiot (42% chance) or (c) he was waiting for his spaceship to pick him up (14% chance). Luckily, before I had to make that decision, he leaned over and pushed the button. Weird. Needless to say, I waited for the next one.
I have lots of elevator stuff, but I think I'll save that for later. I don't want to put you to sleep too quickly, my pets.
Here's what it's like to be me. I wake up this morning, and the first thought in my head is what a cool expression "sod off" is. I mean, you can say that to people in America, and they have no idea they are being insulted. Sod off, dude! This is my thought process upon awakening. Must be the pillow effect. Or is that affect?
Ok, here's a note from the rock concert I went to last night. Ever notice that women will grab other women to go dance, and walk/run/dance as provocatively as possible all the way to the dance floor? Maybe I'm the only one noticing this stuff.
So, here's the latest cat move at my house. Well, it's been going on forever, but this is the first time I'm airing it in public. It's therapeutic. Feeding time is a bit of an issue between the fur-coated ones and myself. They get fed in the morning when I get up, but it's generally after I take a shower and get myself all prettied up. Unfortunately, they seem to think that I should jump out of bed and immediately sprint downstairs (just like they do ... they even show me how to do it) and feed them. Now, there are two comical things that happen from this situation:
(1) When I'm heading for the bathroom to shower, I happen to pass the stairs on the way. I like to give them a little fake like I'm going downstairs, and watch them sprint down. Always good for a chuckle. They stand at the bottom with this bewildered look on their faces EVERY SINGLE DAY! It's like they have no memory at all. Classic.
(2) I generally brush my teeth last. At this point in time, Batman will run up the bathtub and jump on the sink with his front paws and look at me, then run back to the stairs. Sort of a "let's move it along, dumbass, I'm wasting away here" sorta move. Also never fails to crack me up.
Oh, and I referenced a friend who had a ram farm in an earlier blog. Turns out, there were only two rams, not an entire farm like I thought. So, my cover is blown. Instead, they had a broccoli farm! Imagine that as a kid. I mean, I grew up on a chicken farm with some cows, we had eggs, milk, etc. This poor child grew up with nuttin' but broccoli for miles and miles and miles. That's rough. That'd be like growing up on a Michael Jackson farm.
A'ight, I'm going to go work on my analogies ...
posted by AxnJxn at 7:49 AM
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