Check this out ... on the list of dumb Jack moves, this is a classic. So, I'm downloading tunes from this dude named Charlie Sexton, who is this fantastic guitarist out of Texas. I go to listen to one of the songs. I click on it, and I'm all kinds of fired up - Charlie Sexton is covering this fantastic Charlie Rich song ... and he sounds just like him! I can't believe how cool this is. I'm sitting there diggin' it, and then I realize that I've actually clicked on the Charlie Rich song. Cripes.

The Charlie Sexton stuff is pretty cool, though. Check it out if you get a chance.

Ok, I've come up with a whole points system for cats.

Running up the stairs while I'm coming down ... -10 points
Rubbing up on someone that's allergic to cats ... -2 points
Rubbing up on someone that I don't like that's allergic to cats ... +10 points
Playing around in a comical way ... +10 points
Playing around in a comical way in my bed at 3 am ... -20 points
Playing around in a comical way in my bed when I'm getting busy with someone ... -50 points
Complaining about a lack of food when it's feeding time ... 0 points
Complaining about a lack of food when I first get out of bed ... -10 points
Complaining about a lack of food when I'm getting busy with someone ... -50 points
Tapping my arm in a cute way when you want to be petted ... +10 points
Tapping my head in a cute way when you want to be petted ... -5 points
Hurling ... -2 points
Hurling on my shoes ... -25 points
Hurling on me ... -50 points
Hurling on Tom Cruise ... +25 points

Weekend recap. Friday, I had the great idea that I was going to lessen my drunkenness and hence, my stumblyness (yes, I just made that up), by mixing in water with the booze. Well, it worked ... sorta. I ended up so bloated I could barely walk. I seriously felt like that kid Victoria or Valerie or whatever in Willie Wonka ... you know, the one that turns into a giant blueberry. I kept waiting for the Oompa Loompas to come and roll me out of the bar and take me to the Juicing Room. The cool thing is, I think if someone had shot me, I would've just sprung a leak, like in the cartoons.

So, I'm cruising along like this at Portside, and I'm kinda bored (probably because I'm not drunk enough), and I come up with a genius idea ... go to a lesbian bar! Hey, at the least, the girl/guy ratio is going to be pretty good, right? Ok, ok, I had an actual reason to go - to hit on the only straight female in there - the bartender. You gotta have goals in life, people.

I walk in, and I get the usual odd stare from the dude at the door. One of those "Mmm, does this dude know this is a lesbian bar?" sorta things. I manage to grab a seat at the end, which is perfect ... except for the Kool Aid shooters she keeps giving me. Um, so much for not getting drunk. I was a little disappointed that the Kool Aid guy didn't bust through the wall with an "Oh yeah!", though. Dangit. If I'm drinking Kool Aid, even if it's alcoholic, I want the full effect!

Saturday, the whole water experiment was tossed right out the window. Went to a housewarming party. 'Course, no house is complete without a bottle of Captain Morgan's. Unfortunately, said house still doesn't have a bottle of Captain because another attendee and I drank the whole thing. Whoops! Um, sorry. I'm also proud to say that I wasn't the person that fell down the stairs ... this time.

I also found out that I like to go to the "clubs" in Federal Hill, which sorta threw me. 'Course, the person that told me that isn't exactly the hippest cat in the catworld. So, I guess I should listed "clubbin'" as one of my interests. Or not.

Hit Fed Hill Lounge after the party. Dudes, if you want to talk to a woman, all you have to do is ask her about her outfit, and then stand back and watch the fountain of conversation that flows from there. There's your tip for the day. That'll be $5.

Naturally, I had to head back to Canton and check out Portside, which was fairly tame again. I did get the business card of someone I have a bit of a past with ... one of those "Hmmm ... why did I get this?" moments the next morning. I still haven't figured it out. Pretty good odds that I won't.

Sunday ... recovery ... and the return of the Pittsburgh Steelers! Woot!

We had this department-wide sexual harrassment training thingy last week. Is it a bad thing if I thought the presenter was kind of hot? Hmm ... I may not be going to hell, but ...