Hubba Bubba! Those of you old enough, that was a fine li'l bubble gum. Yeah, it's 9:37 am and it's likely that I won't make much sense in this one. Put it this way ... I was just getting dressed for the gym, and I was dancing to Echo and the Bunnymen. Freak show!

Have to do some business first.

- It's not possible for me to hear the name Fernando without immediately getting that horrrrrrrrible Abba song stuck in my head. It's a friggin' curse, I tell ya.

- Ok, so there are a couple of women on Myspace that are "Bi", but aren't interested in boys. Isn't that "gay"? I'm so lost on sexual orientation labels ... 'course, the HN won't be surprised to hear that.

- Was talking to a friend yesterday, and we got into a discussion about waterbed sex. This discussion morphed from a discussion on trampoline sex, which just sounds sorta painful in a weird fun way. Dunno if any of ya'll have had waterbed sex ... but it sucks. Big time. I mean, I'm a white dude ... by law, I have no rhythm. Throw in waves, and fuhgedaboudit.

Last night was fraught with boringness. If I talked to you last night, my apologies, but it's true. I spent most of the night working on a bartender for a friend. Gotta get my wingman karma going, doncha know. Fortunately, I have notes!

Note #1 - "Jim same shirt"

I can't believe I forgot to write about this previously. Stupid dead brain cells. So, a few weeks ago, I meet some friends at Pickle's for some drinks. My buddy Jim has this shirt that's his A shirt ... this might be news to some, but most dudes have 1 or 2 shirts that are their A shirts. Generally, it's a shirt that you wore once and got lucky, so you wear it for the rest ... of ... your ... life.

And, yes, I do have one. I might even have 2. Anyway.

So, Jim's shirt is quite unique. It's ... uh ... fuscia and blue striped and it's quite ... uh ... unique. I'm trying to be nice here. You kind have to see it to get the full effect. Think of someone eating one of those Bomb Pop things they sell on the ice cream truck ... and then getting sick. There's a visual for ya.

So, I walk into Pickle's, and there are a good 8 people or so in there (it was a busy night for Pickle's), and some dude has on the same shirt as Jim, except the collar was the opposite color. I couldn't have been more freaked out if I had woken up next to Charo. I seriously thought I had fallen into Bizarro World.

Note #2 - "Is he drunk or handicapped?"

Passed a dude on the way to the Square last night, and that was an actual question in my head. I seriously hope he was handicapped, cuz if he was drunk ... uh ... damn. That's all I have to say about that.

Note #3 - "Dude puking at Cs"

So, I show up at Claddaugh's. It's kinda quiet, and there's a dude sitting in one of the window seats and he's completely and totally asleep. Out. Like a light. If my camera phone didn't suck complete ass, I'd have a good picture of him. I strike up a conversation with this incredibly drunk girl standing nearby, and she's his wife. Good combo. Hey, nothing says love like falling down together on the way home! As we're conversatin', he leans over and hurls out in the street. Classic. Time of this note ... 10:18 pm. Happy Saturday!

Sellin' cats at 2 today! Second one is half price! C'mon in!

Oh, and one last note ... she returned my call! Woot!