A'ight, so I've been having these weird-o-rama dreams lately, and here's the kicker ... the last two have been hosted by Leeza Gibbons. Yeah, that's right, the hot chick from ... um, hell, I dunno, whatever show she was on ... is hosting my dreams. It's sorta like this ...
[dream of Bigfoot and I having lunch at a coffee shape made of legos]
Leeza: "... and that was Jack and Bigfoot having stir fry at the Lego Hut. After this commercial break, we'll have Jack swimming in a pool of lime Kool-Aid with Nicole Kidman."
As always, I really shouldn't have done all that LSD when I was in grade school. Or all those Jell-O shots last weekend. Or ...
You know it's been a good weekend when you're still recovering on Monday. Eesh. Let's see if I can recap some of this nonsense.
Friday, started at the Bay Cafe with the HN and JB. This was a tad tricky, because JB and I had to go to a work event a few hours later, so we couldn't get too buzzed. Ok, have you stopped laughing yet? Right. Like a work event is going to get in the way of getting a buzz. Ha! Good comedy in that the work event was about a 4-5 block walk ... and we had to stop at a bar on the way for a drink. Priorities, people!
The best news from the weekend? Portside is back! That's right, people! Not that I really remember what it was like on Friday night ... I just know it was good.
Oh, wait, I forgot something. Hmm ... ever notice how much I enjoy interrupting myself in my own blog? I'm so rude to me! So, on Thursday, I go to get my haircut at the Hair Butchery ... er ... Cuttery. Now, if you don't know already, I really, really, really don't like getting my hair cut. No clue why, but they day I meet a chick that can cut my hair is the day I get married. Ok, let's not get too crazy here ... how about that's the day I go on an actual date? Better.
So, I pop in, and I sit down and tell the girl what I want done. I say girl because she can't be more than 20. She then insists that I get my hair shampooed and whatnot. Ok, so it's no secret that I'm a little odd ... I have to admit, having my head rubbed with soapy warm water by a 19 year old girl is ... well, it's hecka skeevy to me. If it's a mature woman, I'm all in. If it's someone that could be my daughter ... um, I'm a tad uncomfy.
But, she insists, even after I try the "I'm in a big hurry" dodge ... which competely and totally backfires. Now, she hurries through the wash and haircut. Safe to say, I don't want my haircutterin' person, my dentist, or my girlfriend rushing through anything ... I'm strange like that, doncha know.
Anyway ... where was I? Oh, yes, Friday. Eh, let's just move to Saturday, since that's the hecka double fun night. I've mentioned before that I'm a pretty lucky dude ... but does it get any luckier than falling backwards into a girl's night out with 8 women? Right.
Started out the night with a huge rock concert. Played for a few hours, even to the point of blistering my thumb. Also, worked on my dance moves in the shower ... is there a better place to dance than in the shower? I did the running man move, the pretend to be singing to the crowd thing, and the 80s dance move like Molly Ringwald. Almost fell down on that one ... showers are a little slippery - imagine that! I also came up with the theory that it's impossible to hear DMSR by Prince without thinking of the scene in Risky Business when they're having the big party with the hookers and all that jazz. "Look like ... University of Illinois!"
An aside ... Sign O' The Times is one of the better concert movies out there, especially "Forever In My Life." You've been informed.
So, I head out for the Square. On the way, I get offered a ride by this hecka hot girl that I know from the gym. 'Course, I accept ... I'm not stupid, doncha know. At the time, I'm on the phone with my buddy Ricky, so I hand over the phone to her to say hello ... when I'm on the phone, I like keeping my friends on their toes like that. Ricky's usually pretty adept at these things, too.
As she's talking to him, her phone rings and she gives it to me to answer ... and it's one of her friends, who is another HH from the gym. I mean, I'm not even 2 blocks from my house ... does a night start better than this? I was half expecting Lauren Holly to show up with a case of Pez or something.
She drops me off, and I hit Claddaugh's, which was incredibly quiet. I actually counted the people downstairs - 22 at the bar. Ergh. The fun part of Claddaugh is watching the young folks roll in and head upstairs. Got out of there, and that's when I stumbled into girl's night out ... or Eden, as I like to call it.
I spent most of the night in a bit of a daze. At one point, I thought about texting my buddy Mark to inform him of the situation I'm in, but since he was in Dallas at a preseason football game, I thought that might be kind of cruel. The girls agreed.
I do have one note from the night ... "little dude in the bathroom." Um ... yeah. I have no idea, and I'm a little worried that I might remember what that means.
Funny thing is, at the end of the night, everyone scattered ... it was like each person was spun around three times and released. I also found out that late night omelettes are big hits. The scary thing is I have an extra night this coming weekend. I should probably start preparing now.
Saw a commercial last night. Here's the gist ... hot girl, wearing pretty much nuttin', with a chair in the ad, walks backwards off the chair to give a nice shot of the booty, crawls around for a bit, shakes the tailfeather, and at the end, plants a big wet kiss on the can. It was an ad for ... uh ... something you drink. I think. Maybe it was motor oil. Vienna sausages?
Watched the movie Dark Water last night. Um, not so good, which is hard to do since Jennifer Connelly is walking around in it, and she's pretty much perfect in every way. Sad ending, too. Pleh. You've been informed.
[dream of Bigfoot and I having lunch at a coffee shape made of legos]
Leeza: "... and that was Jack and Bigfoot having stir fry at the Lego Hut. After this commercial break, we'll have Jack swimming in a pool of lime Kool-Aid with Nicole Kidman."
As always, I really shouldn't have done all that LSD when I was in grade school. Or all those Jell-O shots last weekend. Or ...
You know it's been a good weekend when you're still recovering on Monday. Eesh. Let's see if I can recap some of this nonsense.
Friday, started at the Bay Cafe with the HN and JB. This was a tad tricky, because JB and I had to go to a work event a few hours later, so we couldn't get too buzzed. Ok, have you stopped laughing yet? Right. Like a work event is going to get in the way of getting a buzz. Ha! Good comedy in that the work event was about a 4-5 block walk ... and we had to stop at a bar on the way for a drink. Priorities, people!
The best news from the weekend? Portside is back! That's right, people! Not that I really remember what it was like on Friday night ... I just know it was good.
Oh, wait, I forgot something. Hmm ... ever notice how much I enjoy interrupting myself in my own blog? I'm so rude to me! So, on Thursday, I go to get my haircut at the Hair Butchery ... er ... Cuttery. Now, if you don't know already, I really, really, really don't like getting my hair cut. No clue why, but they day I meet a chick that can cut my hair is the day I get married. Ok, let's not get too crazy here ... how about that's the day I go on an actual date? Better.
So, I pop in, and I sit down and tell the girl what I want done. I say girl because she can't be more than 20. She then insists that I get my hair shampooed and whatnot. Ok, so it's no secret that I'm a little odd ... I have to admit, having my head rubbed with soapy warm water by a 19 year old girl is ... well, it's hecka skeevy to me. If it's a mature woman, I'm all in. If it's someone that could be my daughter ... um, I'm a tad uncomfy.
But, she insists, even after I try the "I'm in a big hurry" dodge ... which competely and totally backfires. Now, she hurries through the wash and haircut. Safe to say, I don't want my haircutterin' person, my dentist, or my girlfriend rushing through anything ... I'm strange like that, doncha know.
Anyway ... where was I? Oh, yes, Friday. Eh, let's just move to Saturday, since that's the hecka double fun night. I've mentioned before that I'm a pretty lucky dude ... but does it get any luckier than falling backwards into a girl's night out with 8 women? Right.
Started out the night with a huge rock concert. Played for a few hours, even to the point of blistering my thumb. Also, worked on my dance moves in the shower ... is there a better place to dance than in the shower? I did the running man move, the pretend to be singing to the crowd thing, and the 80s dance move like Molly Ringwald. Almost fell down on that one ... showers are a little slippery - imagine that! I also came up with the theory that it's impossible to hear DMSR by Prince without thinking of the scene in Risky Business when they're having the big party with the hookers and all that jazz. "Look like ... University of Illinois!"
An aside ... Sign O' The Times is one of the better concert movies out there, especially "Forever In My Life." You've been informed.
So, I head out for the Square. On the way, I get offered a ride by this hecka hot girl that I know from the gym. 'Course, I accept ... I'm not stupid, doncha know. At the time, I'm on the phone with my buddy Ricky, so I hand over the phone to her to say hello ... when I'm on the phone, I like keeping my friends on their toes like that. Ricky's usually pretty adept at these things, too.
As she's talking to him, her phone rings and she gives it to me to answer ... and it's one of her friends, who is another HH from the gym. I mean, I'm not even 2 blocks from my house ... does a night start better than this? I was half expecting Lauren Holly to show up with a case of Pez or something.
She drops me off, and I hit Claddaugh's, which was incredibly quiet. I actually counted the people downstairs - 22 at the bar. Ergh. The fun part of Claddaugh is watching the young folks roll in and head upstairs. Got out of there, and that's when I stumbled into girl's night out ... or Eden, as I like to call it.
I spent most of the night in a bit of a daze. At one point, I thought about texting my buddy Mark to inform him of the situation I'm in, but since he was in Dallas at a preseason football game, I thought that might be kind of cruel. The girls agreed.
I do have one note from the night ... "little dude in the bathroom." Um ... yeah. I have no idea, and I'm a little worried that I might remember what that means.
Funny thing is, at the end of the night, everyone scattered ... it was like each person was spun around three times and released. I also found out that late night omelettes are big hits. The scary thing is I have an extra night this coming weekend. I should probably start preparing now.
Saw a commercial last night. Here's the gist ... hot girl, wearing pretty much nuttin', with a chair in the ad, walks backwards off the chair to give a nice shot of the booty, crawls around for a bit, shakes the tailfeather, and at the end, plants a big wet kiss on the can. It was an ad for ... uh ... something you drink. I think. Maybe it was motor oil. Vienna sausages?
Watched the movie Dark Water last night. Um, not so good, which is hard to do since Jennifer Connelly is walking around in it, and she's pretty much perfect in every way. Sad ending, too. Pleh. You've been informed.
posted by AxnJxn at 12:52 PM
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