A'ight, so I've had Shadow Dancin' by Andy Gibb in my head the entire ... friggin' ... week. It's no wonder the HN thinks I'm gay. Pipe down, already. Let's just get to it, shall we?
I'm writing this stuff now for a number of reasons. Most important is that it's 8:04 on a Saturday morning and I'm pretty sure I'm still waffled. Should be a fun workout!
I realize I haven't started yet, but there's nothing better than texting the HN at 8:04. Seriously. Wait ... that's 8:04 am, by the by. She does one of those pretend pissed off things. It's great. It's entirely possible that she really is pissed off, but I pretend to be oblivious, so it works out.
I'm doing this on a Saturday morning because we're in the middle of a 3 day ... who am I kidding, it's really 3 NIGHTS! ... and I want to keep your blog readin' skills sharp. That and it's entirely possible that I'm going to forget a lot of stuff in the next 48 hours.
Ok, is there anything better than walking into Portside, sitting down next to a hecka hot, and having her ask you if you want to do the lip gloss transfer within the first 10 minutes? I'm not kidding. I seriously thought that Demi Moore's boyfriend ... ok, ok, I actually like Ashton Kutcher so let's refer to him by name ... was going to jump out from the shadows and tell me I was being punked. Nevertheless .... that was the start of the evening. Two kisses ... on the lips. Turns out, the lip gloss wasn't really my shade, but I'm ok with that.
Shh ... c'mere ... we're going to text the HN right now. Insert evil laughter here ...
Great ... my #8 button doesn't work. This should be an interesting night. If you get a text that doesn't have any vowels ... or the #8 ... or if your phone number has an 8 in it ... yeah.
Ok, so I woke up this morning, and the checks that I just got for my home equity loan were scattered all over the floor. Not only that, but my specs were missing. Clearly, the furheads realize that blinding me and taking my money is the way to the promised land. Lemme tell ya .... there are few things funnier than me on a Saturday morning trying to find my glasses. Picture Mr. Magoo in a tad better shape and you'll get the gist. Well, I'm usually trying to escort someone out of my house, too ... let's just move on.
Ok, I just had to take a break. Why? Cuz Eduardo or Elfonzo or whatever that hurricane is called decided to kill my phone last night. Friggin' hurricanes. So, if you want me to have your number, send it somehow. I also lost all of my notes from last night, so these memories might be a tad hazy. A lot hazy. Ah, who am I kidding, I'll be lucky to remember anything!
Is there a better word than apparently? I had a friend once tell me that all my weekend stories start with that word. Um ... duh! That's because I have to rely on others to tell me what happened.
So, apparently, the hecka hot lip gloss girl's number is in my phone ... that died. Frick. Sure hope she returns to Portside soon!
The one good thing so far today ... I got new necklaces! And, with my new phone, I also have camera phone! Yeah! You've been warned. I can't wait to take a picture of something ... like last night, when I was APPARENTLY walking home with my shirt off in the rain. I found that piece of news out this morning. It's always a good sign when you have to go get your shirt because it's at someone else's house. No ... friggin' ... clue ... how it got there. So, let's recap:
Checks scattered all over
Shirt missing
Glasses missing
Phone dead
Yup, I think that just about covers it. The way things are going, it's entirely possible that I'm pregnant.
The cool thing about Eduardo or ... hell, I can't remember the hurricane names, there's only like a billion of them every year ... is that I get to break out my cool clothes. If I haven't mentioned this before, I'm not a big fan of my summer wear. Did I mention that I got new necklaces today? Did I also mention that the HN thinks I'm gay? I think I'm starting to get it.
Stooge sitting on the elliptical. Let's go there real quick. I really don't like calling her a Stooge, because she's one of the hottest women in the gym, but she sat on the back of an elliptical machine and yapped to a friend for at least 30 minutes the other day. Seriously. Just sat there ... and no one could use the machine because she was just sitting on it. I wish I was kidding.
So, back to last night. Portside is back, Steve is back, and I actually spent some time talking to a beautiful young lass who teaches spin at our gym. I haven't the slightest idea what we discussed. Probably spin class. They really should just call me Deep Thoughts and get it over with.
The really funny thing is I was supposed to meet my buddy Mark in Fell's, but I couldn't get a cab. I stood out in the rain for a good 20 minutes, waving my arms like ... well, literally like a drowning man ... and nuttin'. Even better was once I gave up, I returned to the house for another drink before going to the Square. Can't be sobering up, doncha know.
A'ight (that's for Sherry ... ha!), so I'm off to sell some cats. I'm sure there's more coming soon ...
I'm writing this stuff now for a number of reasons. Most important is that it's 8:04 on a Saturday morning and I'm pretty sure I'm still waffled. Should be a fun workout!
I realize I haven't started yet, but there's nothing better than texting the HN at 8:04. Seriously. Wait ... that's 8:04 am, by the by. She does one of those pretend pissed off things. It's great. It's entirely possible that she really is pissed off, but I pretend to be oblivious, so it works out.
I'm doing this on a Saturday morning because we're in the middle of a 3 day ... who am I kidding, it's really 3 NIGHTS! ... and I want to keep your blog readin' skills sharp. That and it's entirely possible that I'm going to forget a lot of stuff in the next 48 hours.
Ok, is there anything better than walking into Portside, sitting down next to a hecka hot, and having her ask you if you want to do the lip gloss transfer within the first 10 minutes? I'm not kidding. I seriously thought that Demi Moore's boyfriend ... ok, ok, I actually like Ashton Kutcher so let's refer to him by name ... was going to jump out from the shadows and tell me I was being punked. Nevertheless .... that was the start of the evening. Two kisses ... on the lips. Turns out, the lip gloss wasn't really my shade, but I'm ok with that.
Shh ... c'mere ... we're going to text the HN right now. Insert evil laughter here ...
Great ... my #8 button doesn't work. This should be an interesting night. If you get a text that doesn't have any vowels ... or the #8 ... or if your phone number has an 8 in it ... yeah.
Ok, so I woke up this morning, and the checks that I just got for my home equity loan were scattered all over the floor. Not only that, but my specs were missing. Clearly, the furheads realize that blinding me and taking my money is the way to the promised land. Lemme tell ya .... there are few things funnier than me on a Saturday morning trying to find my glasses. Picture Mr. Magoo in a tad better shape and you'll get the gist. Well, I'm usually trying to escort someone out of my house, too ... let's just move on.
Ok, I just had to take a break. Why? Cuz Eduardo or Elfonzo or whatever that hurricane is called decided to kill my phone last night. Friggin' hurricanes. So, if you want me to have your number, send it somehow. I also lost all of my notes from last night, so these memories might be a tad hazy. A lot hazy. Ah, who am I kidding, I'll be lucky to remember anything!
Is there a better word than apparently? I had a friend once tell me that all my weekend stories start with that word. Um ... duh! That's because I have to rely on others to tell me what happened.
So, apparently, the hecka hot lip gloss girl's number is in my phone ... that died. Frick. Sure hope she returns to Portside soon!
The one good thing so far today ... I got new necklaces! And, with my new phone, I also have camera phone! Yeah! You've been warned. I can't wait to take a picture of something ... like last night, when I was APPARENTLY walking home with my shirt off in the rain. I found that piece of news out this morning. It's always a good sign when you have to go get your shirt because it's at someone else's house. No ... friggin' ... clue ... how it got there. So, let's recap:
Checks scattered all over
Shirt missing
Glasses missing
Phone dead
Yup, I think that just about covers it. The way things are going, it's entirely possible that I'm pregnant.
The cool thing about Eduardo or ... hell, I can't remember the hurricane names, there's only like a billion of them every year ... is that I get to break out my cool clothes. If I haven't mentioned this before, I'm not a big fan of my summer wear. Did I mention that I got new necklaces today? Did I also mention that the HN thinks I'm gay? I think I'm starting to get it.
Stooge sitting on the elliptical. Let's go there real quick. I really don't like calling her a Stooge, because she's one of the hottest women in the gym, but she sat on the back of an elliptical machine and yapped to a friend for at least 30 minutes the other day. Seriously. Just sat there ... and no one could use the machine because she was just sitting on it. I wish I was kidding.
So, back to last night. Portside is back, Steve is back, and I actually spent some time talking to a beautiful young lass who teaches spin at our gym. I haven't the slightest idea what we discussed. Probably spin class. They really should just call me Deep Thoughts and get it over with.
The really funny thing is I was supposed to meet my buddy Mark in Fell's, but I couldn't get a cab. I stood out in the rain for a good 20 minutes, waving my arms like ... well, literally like a drowning man ... and nuttin'. Even better was once I gave up, I returned to the house for another drink before going to the Square. Can't be sobering up, doncha know.
A'ight (that's for Sherry ... ha!), so I'm off to sell some cats. I'm sure there's more coming soon ...
posted by AxnJxn at 11:53 AM
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