Friday, November 11, 2005

I'm starting to really enjoy this slogan stuff. So, let's do some more!

Indiana ...

... only half of our state is flat and boring. The other half has hills.
... come for the corn. Stay for the ... uh ... corn.
... you haven't lost 20 pounds, we're just chubbier.
... I told you not to blink ... that was our state capital.
... it could be worse - you could be in Kentucky.
... thanks for driving through on your way to someplace more interesting!

Fun with text messages! From Friday night ...

Ha - there's a freak here in a banana costume. I'm very upset.
Since when are you not excited about 2 drunk chicks?
Dude, I'm 34 and I have a big margarita.
Beer pong at a bar? If I could bring my own cups, I'd love that game!
Someone learned me the el paso. I'm hot now.

Hmm. How about some text message slogans? Text messages ...

... when you're too lazy to dial.
... doing their part to help botch the English language.
... yet another way to fake looking important.
... Ladies! Set your phone on vibrate, lock the doors, and text yourself!

So, let's recap Friday. This might take a bit. Started out with some friends at Max's for happy hour. One lesson I learned here ... no matter how good a shot tastes, if it's huge, it's eventually going to suck. Also, if you're trying to decide whether a shot tastes like chocolate cake or Fruity Pebbles, you're probably drinking the wrong shot. I'm learning lots these days!

I managed to be lured away from a potential game of beer pong back to Canton Square by an ex. Lesson here? Exes are exes for a reason. Fortunately, Claddaugh's and Portside allowed me to recover from that blip on the night's radar. It also doesn't hurt to know the bartenders and give good tips ... you know, something more than "don't walk down any dark alleys alone" or "avoid sleeping with scratching women."

One thing I've learned - even when I know the bartenders, I still end up spending the same amount of money, because I give them ridiculous tips. I'm an absolute genius sometimes. Hey, a $15 tab? Here's $20 for a tip! Idiot.

Fortunately, Portside has returned to its former excellent self. It's basically like Teri Hatcher ... hecka hot at first, a momentary lapse of eesh, and now back to hecka hot. Good thing, too, because I was starting to worry ... about the bar that is. Unless she shows up at my door with a bottle of Captain and a case of Pez, I don't worry too much about Teri Hatcher.

Got up Saturday and started watching Vanilla Sky. I've seen it once before, but I don't remember it. I was either making out with someone or on crack the last time I watched it. I have a hard time keeping track of what I do when. I'm fascinated by Penelope Cruz. She's quite possibly the hottest women that I've ever seen that has no chin. It's uncanny. 'Course, the movie also stars Crazy Sauce, aka Tom Cruise. Watching him "act" is always fascinating - he plays himself so well. I'm only about an hour in, so I can't comment on the movie yet.

Yesterday, I went and bought a space heater for the house. I have oil heat, and in case you didn't know, oil is about a billion dollars a barrel right now. Ok, I'm exaggerating ... it's about a million dollars a barrel. In any case, my plan is to go with the space heaters this winter, at least until I accidently burn down my house.

The beauty of the space heater is that it's something new in the house, so the cats are wiggin'. It has this oscillating feature, so I'm sure when it's moving, it's like some sort of Loch Ness Monster type creature to them. It turns, it hisses and spits out hot air, and it's black. It's an electronic dragon! They get spooked and do the sideways turn with the big tail move, which never fails to crack me up. Eventually, they'll get used to it, but there'll be a good week or two of entertainment and big, fuzzy tails before then.

As for the rest of the weekend, it was fairly tame. RIP Kari ... you will be missed. :-(

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