Hubba Bubba bubble gum. It's just fun to say.
So, I got completely hoaxed this past weekend. Some internet personality on a message board where I post faked her own suicide. A lot of people got really angry ... I actually thought it was kind of funny, simply because I got totally taken by it. Never let it be said that I'm not a complete rube ... and, yes, the main reason I'm telling you this is so I can use the word rube in a sentence. Sweet!
If you haven't noticed yet, it is butt ass cold outside. I might even have to stay in tomorrow night if this keeps up. Yeah, I know, that's blasphemy ... or something like that ... but I ain't huffing my ass 10 blocks to the bars and getting ice in my nose just so's I can get drunk and say dumb things to women. I can do that at home. Well, minus the women. Maybe I'll call some up.
Classic cat move. So, we have two cat watering holes in this house ... one in my bedroom, and one downstairs by the food trough. So, why is it that when the upstairs bowl is empty, Batman just sits by it and stares at it? I mean, either he's dumb as a stump, or he's too lazy to walk downstairs and get a drink. Probably a combo. He'll sit there for hours until I show up and magically refill it. And we all think cats have it easy ... hey, it's tough being that dumb.
I finished watching Vanilla Sky this week. Yeah, it's muddled and blurry, but I actually liked it. I even have this little thing for Penelope Cruz now, too. Just what I need ... another women to fawn over that I'll never even talk to .... not that I could understand her. I also realized during the movie that I've never slept with a woman with a Spanish accent. Yes, this is what I think about during movies. Plus, it's good to have goals in life, doncha know.
Speaking of that, I also watched Bound. If you haven't seen this thing, it's got the hottest woman I never talk about, Gina Gershon, in possibly the hottest lesbian sex scene in the history of the free world. That movie spent two days in my TIVO "save until I delete" area just because of one 30 second scene. I might have to take a shower after writing about it. I think the rest of the movie sucked ... I had trouble focusing after watching Gina put the Playboy Channel to shame.
The only Pez I have left in this entire house is lemon, so I'm thinking I should be safe for a bit. The dispenser sits on my desk, mocking me. It's there right now. It's this smiling pumpkin thing, and I'm tellin' ya, it's laughing at me. Friggin' pumpkins. The only good thing about pumpkins is turning 'em into pie. Ok, I don't really dislike pumpkins, I'm just bitter about having a cavity when I brush my teeth more than Tara Reid makes an idiot of herself.
I am getting hecka geared up for this Vegas deal! I leave this Wednesday, do Thanksgiving at this big, huge hole ... some call it the Grand Canyon ... then I have all of Friday to get myself into all kinds of trouble in Vegas. Last time I was there, I managed to meet a woman that wasn't a hooker ... which is apparently like finding a needle in not just a haystack but an entire hayfield. I come back Saturday, just in time to go out Saturday night in Baltimore. Wahoo!
Funny thing is, I was dumb enough to book a room for Friday night. Now, my flight leaves at 7 am. I called and tried to cancel the room for Friday, and the woman asked where I was going to sleep. My response: "Uh, I'm a single guy, alone in Vegas, on a Friday night. Why would I want to sleep?" Unfortunately, she wouldn't cancel the room without a hefty fee. Probably a Mormon.
'Course, I have this weekend to knock off first. The big highlight, besides the usual shenanigans on Saturday at the Square, is going to the Ravens/Steelers game. I haven't gone to one of these in a couple of years, simply because people can be complete and total idiots at a football game.
Yes, I'm a Steelers fan, going into enemy territory. I'm actually very respectful, but it doesn't matter. A couple of years ago, I walked in, sat down at my seat with my friends, didn't say a single word, and some yahoo in full purple Barney gear came running down from a few rows up and started yelling obscenities. He was immediately shown the door ... b-bye, dumbass, hope you enjoyed the 17 seconds of football you paid for. Moron.
We have some bake off thing at work tomorrow, like I need this. I've been mainlining sugar all week, and now they're going to fill our conference room with sweets. It's quite possible that I just mutate into a Cavity Creep tomorrow ... why fight it? If you can't beat 'em ...
So, I got completely hoaxed this past weekend. Some internet personality on a message board where I post faked her own suicide. A lot of people got really angry ... I actually thought it was kind of funny, simply because I got totally taken by it. Never let it be said that I'm not a complete rube ... and, yes, the main reason I'm telling you this is so I can use the word rube in a sentence. Sweet!
If you haven't noticed yet, it is butt ass cold outside. I might even have to stay in tomorrow night if this keeps up. Yeah, I know, that's blasphemy ... or something like that ... but I ain't huffing my ass 10 blocks to the bars and getting ice in my nose just so's I can get drunk and say dumb things to women. I can do that at home. Well, minus the women. Maybe I'll call some up.
Classic cat move. So, we have two cat watering holes in this house ... one in my bedroom, and one downstairs by the food trough. So, why is it that when the upstairs bowl is empty, Batman just sits by it and stares at it? I mean, either he's dumb as a stump, or he's too lazy to walk downstairs and get a drink. Probably a combo. He'll sit there for hours until I show up and magically refill it. And we all think cats have it easy ... hey, it's tough being that dumb.
I finished watching Vanilla Sky this week. Yeah, it's muddled and blurry, but I actually liked it. I even have this little thing for Penelope Cruz now, too. Just what I need ... another women to fawn over that I'll never even talk to .... not that I could understand her. I also realized during the movie that I've never slept with a woman with a Spanish accent. Yes, this is what I think about during movies. Plus, it's good to have goals in life, doncha know.
Speaking of that, I also watched Bound. If you haven't seen this thing, it's got the hottest woman I never talk about, Gina Gershon, in possibly the hottest lesbian sex scene in the history of the free world. That movie spent two days in my TIVO "save until I delete" area just because of one 30 second scene. I might have to take a shower after writing about it. I think the rest of the movie sucked ... I had trouble focusing after watching Gina put the Playboy Channel to shame.
The only Pez I have left in this entire house is lemon, so I'm thinking I should be safe for a bit. The dispenser sits on my desk, mocking me. It's there right now. It's this smiling pumpkin thing, and I'm tellin' ya, it's laughing at me. Friggin' pumpkins. The only good thing about pumpkins is turning 'em into pie. Ok, I don't really dislike pumpkins, I'm just bitter about having a cavity when I brush my teeth more than Tara Reid makes an idiot of herself.
I am getting hecka geared up for this Vegas deal! I leave this Wednesday, do Thanksgiving at this big, huge hole ... some call it the Grand Canyon ... then I have all of Friday to get myself into all kinds of trouble in Vegas. Last time I was there, I managed to meet a woman that wasn't a hooker ... which is apparently like finding a needle in not just a haystack but an entire hayfield. I come back Saturday, just in time to go out Saturday night in Baltimore. Wahoo!
Funny thing is, I was dumb enough to book a room for Friday night. Now, my flight leaves at 7 am. I called and tried to cancel the room for Friday, and the woman asked where I was going to sleep. My response: "Uh, I'm a single guy, alone in Vegas, on a Friday night. Why would I want to sleep?" Unfortunately, she wouldn't cancel the room without a hefty fee. Probably a Mormon.
'Course, I have this weekend to knock off first. The big highlight, besides the usual shenanigans on Saturday at the Square, is going to the Ravens/Steelers game. I haven't gone to one of these in a couple of years, simply because people can be complete and total idiots at a football game.
Yes, I'm a Steelers fan, going into enemy territory. I'm actually very respectful, but it doesn't matter. A couple of years ago, I walked in, sat down at my seat with my friends, didn't say a single word, and some yahoo in full purple Barney gear came running down from a few rows up and started yelling obscenities. He was immediately shown the door ... b-bye, dumbass, hope you enjoyed the 17 seconds of football you paid for. Moron.
We have some bake off thing at work tomorrow, like I need this. I've been mainlining sugar all week, and now they're going to fill our conference room with sweets. It's quite possible that I just mutate into a Cavity Creep tomorrow ... why fight it? If you can't beat 'em ...
posted by AxnJxn at 7:47 PM
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