So, I'm on the bus a couple of days ago, and I was privy to one of the more interesting conversations I've heard in some time. There were these two older dudes on the bus ... they had to have been in their 60s at the earliest. Ladies and gentlemen, this is a snippet of their conversation, which was being done in very, very loud tones:

Dude 1: I don't like them there Lifestyle condoms. I ain't never been a fan of those 'tall.
Dude 2: Me neither. Them's too small or something. I always have trouble puttin' 'em on.
Dude 1: Yah, yah, I ain't got that sorta problem with Trojans.
Dude 2: You said a mouthful.

Considering the topic at hand, I found the last comment to be highly amusing, and I had to turn away from them to hide my glee. Always good to hear that even the senior citizens of our fine city are gettin' some.

Ok, I found this hilarious, and most of you probably won't get it, but whatever. I'll laugh when I read back over this to edit it. There's a cat on the SPCA site, he's this cute li'l thing, and his name is "Joe Torre". Yes, I do need help, because I just about fell out of my chair laughing when I saw it.

A quick bit of humor from the archives. In high school, we were cruising around one Friday night. We saw some girls, and my friend leaned out and yelled "Hey, baby ... I've got an average sized penis!" Needless to say, they didn't ask us to stop.

I have this weird thing where my nose seems to itch a lot at times. Dunno why, and it's not a constant thing, but every now and then, it happens. Couple that with my fear of getting a cliffhanger, and I always seem to be rubbing it. I'm starting to wonder if people think I have a coke habit or something. 'Course, I'm not sure I make enough money to support a good, solid coke habit. I could probably afford a good Pez habit.

Speaking of sugar, I found out last night that, among other things, the hot neighbor is a sugar fiend! I'm not exactly sure how this changes my property value ... might have to call my realtor. I mean, on one hand, having a sugar fiend next door could be beneficial ... you always know where to go if you need to borrow a cup of sugar, eh? Plus, seeing that she's hot, I would be sure to run out of sugar on a daily basis. But, on the other hand, the wild mood swings, the crashes, the constant trips to the dentist - could get a little tedious. Not unlike living next to Tigger.

Here's the latest "I don't remember you" story. I mentioned in the last blog that I had a convo in a bar with a girl who went to my gym. Well, at the end of that convo, she asked me for my phone number and put it in her cell. Well, last night, I saw her at the gym. Now, I didn't go up to her immediately, I just sorta cruised by a couple of times to see if she'd remember me. Nuttin'. So, finally, I walked up to her and just stared at her. Nuttin'. 'Twas pretty funny when I explained who I was, and watch her do the fake remember thing. Her response: "I wasn't sure if your name was Jack or Jeff". Eh, four letters, starts with J, close 'nuff.

I'm not expecting a call.