A'ight, it's music time. This is what I woke up to this morning. Ya'll can hum along if you wish. [Clears throat]. Ok, here we go:

Ba da da da bum bum bum bump
Ba da da da bump bum bum bum
Ba dat dat dada dat dada da data dat dada da
Dat da dat da DA!

Ok, I'm assuming after that rendition that ya'll know the song. Wha? You don't? Buncha tone deaf goofballs. Ok, that's ... drum roll ... the Dating Game theme song! Yup, that's what was in my head when the alarm went off this morning. Scary, eh? Don't forget to give the big KISS at the end!

Previously, I've discussed getting caught singing in the car. Usually, it's something dorky like "Space Age Love Song" by A Flock of Seagulls or something like that. Well, this morning, I'm walking to work, and this dude is cranking to some Spanish song, and he's singing it in Spanish. Not sure why, but that really gave me a snort.

As you can tell, I think that's bananas. That's spelled B-A-N-A-N-A-S. And I ain't no holla back girl, either.

Along those lines, is there anything funnier than trying to sing La Bamba? I mean, let's face it, about 1/10th of us actually know what they're saying in Spanish ... the rest of us just bumble along and try to come close.

Took a spin class last night, and the instructor was a tad annoying. At one point, there's a Green Day song on, with the line "my eyes feel like they're gonna bleed", and her response was "not us! We're not that bad!" ... um ... yeah. At another point, we're on level 10 - the tension goes from 1 to 10 - and we get the instruction to turn it up! Yeah! Um, I didn't take a stats class, but isn't 10 + anything > 10? Maybe spin class isn't the best place for math lessons.

Talked about all things non-essential in the backyard with the hot neighbor last night (since she doesn't talk about essential things). 'Twas quite romantic - the spotlight from the police helicopter glancing off the trash cans in the alley, the stray cats in heat yowling, the weeds in the sidewalk cracks blowing in the wind. It was true romance.

Yesterday, I think I heard the first quadruple negative in spoken English language history. Here was the quote: "He ain't got no sense, nohow, ain't that right?" ... I think my high school English teacher would probably just keel over with a heart attack from that one. Anyone want to dissect that sentence?

Great. Now I have that stupid Gwen Stefani song in my head. That's deep stuff, man.

So, I tried a cat experiment last night. It seems that every time I pet either of them, an entire fur coat of hair comes off. So, last night, Batman jumped up on the couch, and I just poked him with my finger in the side. Sure enough, a whole furball flew off. I think they're doing it on purpose.

I bought some tofu sausage last night, and tried it this morning. Yeah, I know what you're saying ... tofu sausage? ... but I've told you before that I enjoy playing experiments on my body. I've even left out most of the chemical ones.

Well, the stomach wasn't pleased. I think the exact quote from the stomach was "Stomach no like tofu sausage!" ... yeah, the stomach isn't so hot with the English language, either. It's in a close race with the brain for My Dumbest Organ. So, the stomach has spoken ... which means I'm going to try it again tomorrow morning, just to f*** with the stomach. How you like me now, stomach!? That's what I'll be saying tomorrow morning. Taunting the stomach is always in good fun.

Does Gwen Stefani go to the produce section, point to the bananas, and say "That's bananas! B-A-N-A-N-A-S!"? These are the questions I'd like answered.