Gang attack, limes, body games
Current mood: pretentiously humble

So, I'm dealing with allergies today - stuffy nose, headache. I've never had a problem before but apparently, you can develop them as you get older. Too bad I can't develop something useful as I get older. You know, the ability to pee money, the ability to grow hair where I actually want it, the ability to understand what the hell Rosie Perez is saying when she talks.

I was attacked by a gang when I left the grocery store the other day. They all had their colors on, and had a number of weapons of mass destruction with them. I managed to escape pretty much unharmed, which was a relief. Friggin' Girl Scouts.

Someone mentioned this to me the other day, and it's a personal pet peeve - people that bring cells phones to the gym. Now, I realize the gym is a place for a lot of insecure people. That's not exactly advanced psychology. But, unless you're a doctor or have some emergency reason to have a cell phone on you at all times, leave it at home! When everyone and their mother has a cell phone (and I mean that literally), it's no longer a status thing. Cripes.
Coke with lime. Is there some reason it took those people this long to figure out a lime is good in there? We've been putting it in drinks for years!

Along those lines, this will give you an idea of how odd my buddy Ricky and I are. We were at a Ravens tailgate one Sunday after a weekend of heavy drinking. As we were standing around in the sun holding our drinks, we began an in depth discussion of how much fun it would be to be the lime that was in our drinks. I mean, you're a lime, you're swimming in Cap'n and some ice, the sun is on you, and there's no real threat of getting eaten. At worst, you get squeezed a tad, which could be a good thing if it's a hot chick doing the squeezin'. For some reason, eveyone looked at us kinda funny and slowly backed away.

He's also the dude that invented the term "shampoo buzz", which is probably the smartest term anyone has ever invented. Here's the gist - let's say you got really waffled the night before. Now, it's the next day, and you're on your first drink or so, and you start to get buzzed really quickly. That's a shampoo buzz. The idea is when you wash your hair, rinse, then wash it a second time, you only need a little tiny bit of shampoo to get a lot of lather. Yup, he's a good friend of mine. Explains a lot, doesn't it?

I like playing games with my body. No, not those kind of games, silly, although they can be fun! I'm talking about eating a couple of bowls of bran cereal along with a lot of cheese, and see what wins.

So, if you're a "hold the door for a woman" type of guy, what do you do with the automatic doors? Do you jump in front of it so that it opens, then step aside? How about revolving doors? Do you push from behind or in front?

Revolving doors are always fun. By show of hands, how many of you have either tried to (a) push the thing faster or (b) slow the thing up? The first can be a little dangerous, so I always go for (b), then act like it was the person behind me. Then, there's the fun of trapping a friend in there if they go in first.