Yippee + kay + yay = Yippeekayay! As my friend Pat used to say, TGIMFF! I'll let you figure that one out on your own. It's ridiculous that I'm this fired up for the weekend, especially when I just had 4 days off ... I'm sure my liver is happy about this, too.
Ok, so the secret's pretty much out - today is my birthday. I don't really care about birthdays, although next year I turn 40, which could hurt. You'll likely see me running down the street and screaming like Jessica Alba in Texas Chainsaw Massacre on that day. Mmm ... Jessica Alba ... mmm ... what's that? Oh, yes, birthdays. Sorry, went to Alba-land for a moment there.
So, anyway, I have two memories of birthdays in my past:
1) I was about 5, and my Mom threw this big party for me. I remember I had the most ridiculous pair of multi-colored striped pants on ... I think there's a picture of them on my website somewhere. I was always quite the fashion plate. Hey, my clothing influences were from growing up in the 70s, gimme a break here! I also remember my Mom took this one pic with me, and she looked pretty hot in it. Yeah, I'm not exactly comfortable with that thought, either. Let's move on.
2) The 21st. My friends took me to a bar, and everyone wanted to buy me a drink. Like an idiot, I told them to buy me their favorite drink, so I ended up getting every kind of alcohol imaginable. I remember shot #7 was a Prairie Fire, which is tequila and tabasco. Um ... yeah. Not pretty. I think I was lying on the bathroom floor somewhere around 14 minutes after that one. The best part was, I got drunk and sick so fast ... no hangover! That's also the last time I was carried out of a bar ... always a pretty sight.
Check this out ... so I'm at the gym on Wednesday, I do my full workout, no worries. I go to Sam's Club to shop for insanely sized things, and I twinge a muscle in my neck picking up some steaks or something. Pure brilliance. As if that isn't enough, I wake up, and it's all stiff, so in order to turn around and look behind me, I have to turn my whole body. I always feel like I'm wearing one of those neck braces when that happens. There's just no way to look cool when you have to turn like that ... and I'm all about looking cool, doncha know.
Aside time ... the first thing I think of when I see those neck braces is that episode of the Brady Bunch. You know you know it. I know you know it. Just admit it. That's right ... Carol gets into the accident, the old crank shows up wearing a neck brace, and Mike drops the briefcase behind him and he turns around. See? I knew you knew it.
Other gym stuff. I'm a big fan of women coming into the free weight area to work out. Quite frankly, the free weight area is a jarhead-fest. I mean, you couldn't get more jarheads into one space if you gave away free creatine, Red Bull and short haircuts. Anyway. So, there's this one woman in there, and she's doing one of those weird new exercises. You know, step up, spin around 3 times, touch your nose, wave your arms, cross yourself and step down. I dunno what they're called, but I see a lot of it going on. Problem is, she's doing this right in the middle of the dumbbell area, which is easily the most cramped part of the gym, so dudes are ducking under flying legs and arms. The next time someone actually thinks in that place, an alarm should go off.
I now know who Gnarls Barkley is. Saw a video for a song last night. I'm quite proud of myself. I also now know that he's not Charles Barkley's brother. Why, yes, I am white, thanks for asking!
I had dinner with this way hot chick last night. She's about 1/2 a foot tall, weighs about 5 pounds, and has these big green eyes. Cute tail, too. She's got 3 kids, but that's not really a problem. She's a bit high maintenance, though ... I had to cut up her steak for her last night. Women!
We put out the cages last night for Cat Capture Weekend. Have to get them used to going in and out of them. The HN swore that Squibs (that's my date girl) was too smart to go in them. Sure enough, I put one of the cages down, and she immediately runs in. Classic.
Ok, time to play the Weirdo, Stalker, or Romantic Devil game. There's this woman who rides the shuttle to Hopkins every day who is quite toasty. I saw her coming off it one day when I was walking to work. So, now, I try to plan my walk so I'm going by as she's getting off the shuttle, so I can see her. Ok, place your votes!
Ok, so the secret's pretty much out - today is my birthday. I don't really care about birthdays, although next year I turn 40, which could hurt. You'll likely see me running down the street and screaming like Jessica Alba in Texas Chainsaw Massacre on that day. Mmm ... Jessica Alba ... mmm ... what's that? Oh, yes, birthdays. Sorry, went to Alba-land for a moment there.
So, anyway, I have two memories of birthdays in my past:
1) I was about 5, and my Mom threw this big party for me. I remember I had the most ridiculous pair of multi-colored striped pants on ... I think there's a picture of them on my website somewhere. I was always quite the fashion plate. Hey, my clothing influences were from growing up in the 70s, gimme a break here! I also remember my Mom took this one pic with me, and she looked pretty hot in it. Yeah, I'm not exactly comfortable with that thought, either. Let's move on.
2) The 21st. My friends took me to a bar, and everyone wanted to buy me a drink. Like an idiot, I told them to buy me their favorite drink, so I ended up getting every kind of alcohol imaginable. I remember shot #7 was a Prairie Fire, which is tequila and tabasco. Um ... yeah. Not pretty. I think I was lying on the bathroom floor somewhere around 14 minutes after that one. The best part was, I got drunk and sick so fast ... no hangover! That's also the last time I was carried out of a bar ... always a pretty sight.
Check this out ... so I'm at the gym on Wednesday, I do my full workout, no worries. I go to Sam's Club to shop for insanely sized things, and I twinge a muscle in my neck picking up some steaks or something. Pure brilliance. As if that isn't enough, I wake up, and it's all stiff, so in order to turn around and look behind me, I have to turn my whole body. I always feel like I'm wearing one of those neck braces when that happens. There's just no way to look cool when you have to turn like that ... and I'm all about looking cool, doncha know.
Aside time ... the first thing I think of when I see those neck braces is that episode of the Brady Bunch. You know you know it. I know you know it. Just admit it. That's right ... Carol gets into the accident, the old crank shows up wearing a neck brace, and Mike drops the briefcase behind him and he turns around. See? I knew you knew it.
Other gym stuff. I'm a big fan of women coming into the free weight area to work out. Quite frankly, the free weight area is a jarhead-fest. I mean, you couldn't get more jarheads into one space if you gave away free creatine, Red Bull and short haircuts. Anyway. So, there's this one woman in there, and she's doing one of those weird new exercises. You know, step up, spin around 3 times, touch your nose, wave your arms, cross yourself and step down. I dunno what they're called, but I see a lot of it going on. Problem is, she's doing this right in the middle of the dumbbell area, which is easily the most cramped part of the gym, so dudes are ducking under flying legs and arms. The next time someone actually thinks in that place, an alarm should go off.
I now know who Gnarls Barkley is. Saw a video for a song last night. I'm quite proud of myself. I also now know that he's not Charles Barkley's brother. Why, yes, I am white, thanks for asking!
I had dinner with this way hot chick last night. She's about 1/2 a foot tall, weighs about 5 pounds, and has these big green eyes. Cute tail, too. She's got 3 kids, but that's not really a problem. She's a bit high maintenance, though ... I had to cut up her steak for her last night. Women!
We put out the cages last night for Cat Capture Weekend. Have to get them used to going in and out of them. The HN swore that Squibs (that's my date girl) was too smart to go in them. Sure enough, I put one of the cages down, and she immediately runs in. Classic.
Ok, time to play the Weirdo, Stalker, or Romantic Devil game. There's this woman who rides the shuttle to Hopkins every day who is quite toasty. I saw her coming off it one day when I was walking to work. So, now, I try to plan my walk so I'm going by as she's getting off the shuttle, so I can see her. Ok, place your votes!
posted by AxnJxn at 3:20 PM
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