From the random news file ... I TOTALLY just watched the movie Valley Girl. Fer sure! Unfortunately, it was on regular old TV, so they cut out the best line. Randy realizes that Julie broke up with him because of her friends. As he's leaving the house, he shouts this classic:
"F*** you, Julie. F*** you ... for sure ... totally!"
Classic.
Check this out. I'm getting off the subway downtown the other day headed to a meeting, and this dude walks by, pats me on the arm, and says "What's up, white guy?" Um ... yeah. It's been a number of days, and I still don't have a response to that one. Let's just move on.
It's been a wacky weekend, so I'll do my best to recap. But, first, let's play Tips for Dudes! Sometimes, dudes just don't get it, and I'm here to do my part to set dudes straight. Dude! Two notes:
- If I'm talking to a hottie, I don't want to talk to you. I realize this is a confusing concept, but it's really not that complicated. You could be incredibly charming, funny, a swell Joe, hell you could be George Clooney! ... but, and this is important ... you're a dude! When I'm talking to the hotness, you talking to me does not help ... especially if you're telling me how hot she is. If I'm talking to her, I've already figured this out. Dude!
- Tip #2 is somewhat similar. If there are 2 or more hots on the dance floor dancing with each other, now is not the time for you to show off your dance moves. It's especially bad if you suck at dancing, and other than Denny Terio (that's right, I just referenced the dude on Dance Fever), most dudes suck at dancing. Well, they might be good, but ... and I realize this is a bit kooky ... I'd rather watch the hotties dance than the dudes. In other words ... get outta da way, fools!
The Dude abides.
Ok, to the recap. Friday started at Bay Cafe, which means I was drunk before the sunset. Actually, that happened 3 of the 4 nights/days this weekend ... I think I smell a pattern. The main thing I learned on Friday is that it takes FOREVER to dock a boat. I'm not exaggerating. Forever. Actually, it might be more accurate to say forever + 1. Basically, I spent more time traveling to bars than being in bars ... which does not make Jack a happy boy.
I did manage to run into Anastasia at some point ... she's the unbelievably attractive woman at the gym who likes to sing on the elliptical machine. Don't ask, because I have no idea what we talked about ... this was a good 6+ hours after my first drink, doncha know. I did try to set her up with my friends ... being a good wingman, doncha know ... so I've got Wingman Karma points in the bank. Apparently, I also left a number of messages about Quizno's subs. Yeah, I don't really know what that means, either. Did someone say move on? I thought so ...
Saturday, I was at the Bay Cafe ... again ... and I managed to run into the Bay Cafe bikini contest. Always an entertaining affair. I did have a bit of a quandry, though. Is it a good thing when the contestants spend more time hitting on your date than they spend hitting on you? One of the bikini chickies was in complete love with my attractive sidekick. Quality entertainment, that ... I mean, does it get any better than a woman in a bikini hugging your date? I don't think so.
Spent part of the night with Ed and Frank, then finished up at Portside ... well, Portside then the pizza joint then the dog park then ... yeah, things got a little fuzzy again.
Sunday was the Sabbath, and I rested in accordance with the rules of it. I can't even type that with a straight face. I did watch a highly cool movie which was recommended by Mr. Levi - Green Street Hooligans. If you like Snatch, Lock Stock, Trainspotting, Layer Cake and the like, go check this movie out immediately. Plus, it stars the British version of Brad Pitt. Trust me on that.
Mondays suck ... unless you have the day off. Woot! Then, they rule, especially if you also have the next day off. Double woot! Oh, and the only note I left myself all weekend ... and just reading it cracks me up.
"Guy walks into pole on bus - ding!"
Dag, I wish I could've captured the sound and put it in this blog. I'm on the bus heading downtown for ... you guessed it ... more drinking. I'm sitting in the back, cuz that's where the cool people sit, doncha know, and this dude stands up to get off the bus and walks smack into the pole by the door. DING, fries are done! I had a really, really, really hard time not busting out laughing, and I know I wasn't the only one.
My buddy Jim was guest bartending at Pickles. I show up at 7 when he starts. By 7:30, I'm drunk, I've had 3 shots, and it's still friggin' sunny out! Cripes. Needless to say, things got a little fuzzy after that. Maybe I should change my name to Fuzzy. Fuzzy Bedwell. Got a nice ring, eh?
Here's last night's map ... Pickles, Portside, Claddaugh, Looneys, Mamas, Portside, Claddaugh ... pizza joint! I also spent a decent amount of time at the park handing out slices and talking to a friend and his wife on the phone. Don't ask, cuz ... well, I'm sure you know the drill by now. I also saw Leah Hot and Kelly Hot, although I have no idea what we talked about ... I'm sure I was witty and charming as always. I think I managed not to fall down, which is always a bonus.
Cat update! Ok, so we're 10 days away from Cat Capture weekend. We had to take one of the shorties to the vet yesterday due to an eye infection problem. All is well now, though ... I get the fun job of putting ointment in her eye twice a day. As you can probably imagine, she loves me for this. Oy. Everyone has fleas, too, so they got that noise you put on the back of their neck to get rid of the fleas. More fun.
Hmm ... maybe I should use that stuff to ward of foolish dudes ...
"F*** you, Julie. F*** you ... for sure ... totally!"
Classic.
Check this out. I'm getting off the subway downtown the other day headed to a meeting, and this dude walks by, pats me on the arm, and says "What's up, white guy?" Um ... yeah. It's been a number of days, and I still don't have a response to that one. Let's just move on.
It's been a wacky weekend, so I'll do my best to recap. But, first, let's play Tips for Dudes! Sometimes, dudes just don't get it, and I'm here to do my part to set dudes straight. Dude! Two notes:
- If I'm talking to a hottie, I don't want to talk to you. I realize this is a confusing concept, but it's really not that complicated. You could be incredibly charming, funny, a swell Joe, hell you could be George Clooney! ... but, and this is important ... you're a dude! When I'm talking to the hotness, you talking to me does not help ... especially if you're telling me how hot she is. If I'm talking to her, I've already figured this out. Dude!
- Tip #2 is somewhat similar. If there are 2 or more hots on the dance floor dancing with each other, now is not the time for you to show off your dance moves. It's especially bad if you suck at dancing, and other than Denny Terio (that's right, I just referenced the dude on Dance Fever), most dudes suck at dancing. Well, they might be good, but ... and I realize this is a bit kooky ... I'd rather watch the hotties dance than the dudes. In other words ... get outta da way, fools!
The Dude abides.
Ok, to the recap. Friday started at Bay Cafe, which means I was drunk before the sunset. Actually, that happened 3 of the 4 nights/days this weekend ... I think I smell a pattern. The main thing I learned on Friday is that it takes FOREVER to dock a boat. I'm not exaggerating. Forever. Actually, it might be more accurate to say forever + 1. Basically, I spent more time traveling to bars than being in bars ... which does not make Jack a happy boy.
I did manage to run into Anastasia at some point ... she's the unbelievably attractive woman at the gym who likes to sing on the elliptical machine. Don't ask, because I have no idea what we talked about ... this was a good 6+ hours after my first drink, doncha know. I did try to set her up with my friends ... being a good wingman, doncha know ... so I've got Wingman Karma points in the bank. Apparently, I also left a number of messages about Quizno's subs. Yeah, I don't really know what that means, either. Did someone say move on? I thought so ...
Saturday, I was at the Bay Cafe ... again ... and I managed to run into the Bay Cafe bikini contest. Always an entertaining affair. I did have a bit of a quandry, though. Is it a good thing when the contestants spend more time hitting on your date than they spend hitting on you? One of the bikini chickies was in complete love with my attractive sidekick. Quality entertainment, that ... I mean, does it get any better than a woman in a bikini hugging your date? I don't think so.
Spent part of the night with Ed and Frank, then finished up at Portside ... well, Portside then the pizza joint then the dog park then ... yeah, things got a little fuzzy again.
Sunday was the Sabbath, and I rested in accordance with the rules of it. I can't even type that with a straight face. I did watch a highly cool movie which was recommended by Mr. Levi - Green Street Hooligans. If you like Snatch, Lock Stock, Trainspotting, Layer Cake and the like, go check this movie out immediately. Plus, it stars the British version of Brad Pitt. Trust me on that.
Mondays suck ... unless you have the day off. Woot! Then, they rule, especially if you also have the next day off. Double woot! Oh, and the only note I left myself all weekend ... and just reading it cracks me up.
"Guy walks into pole on bus - ding!"
Dag, I wish I could've captured the sound and put it in this blog. I'm on the bus heading downtown for ... you guessed it ... more drinking. I'm sitting in the back, cuz that's where the cool people sit, doncha know, and this dude stands up to get off the bus and walks smack into the pole by the door. DING, fries are done! I had a really, really, really hard time not busting out laughing, and I know I wasn't the only one.
My buddy Jim was guest bartending at Pickles. I show up at 7 when he starts. By 7:30, I'm drunk, I've had 3 shots, and it's still friggin' sunny out! Cripes. Needless to say, things got a little fuzzy after that. Maybe I should change my name to Fuzzy. Fuzzy Bedwell. Got a nice ring, eh?
Here's last night's map ... Pickles, Portside, Claddaugh, Looneys, Mamas, Portside, Claddaugh ... pizza joint! I also spent a decent amount of time at the park handing out slices and talking to a friend and his wife on the phone. Don't ask, cuz ... well, I'm sure you know the drill by now. I also saw Leah Hot and Kelly Hot, although I have no idea what we talked about ... I'm sure I was witty and charming as always. I think I managed not to fall down, which is always a bonus.
Cat update! Ok, so we're 10 days away from Cat Capture weekend. We had to take one of the shorties to the vet yesterday due to an eye infection problem. All is well now, though ... I get the fun job of putting ointment in her eye twice a day. As you can probably imagine, she loves me for this. Oy. Everyone has fleas, too, so they got that noise you put on the back of their neck to get rid of the fleas. More fun.
Hmm ... maybe I should use that stuff to ward of foolish dudes ...
posted by AxnJxn at 7:15 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home