A'ight, so I know ya'll tune into this nonsense to hear all kinds of stupid stuff about me being drunk and ... uh ... stupid. But, I have big news today ...
I had kittens!
Well, ok, actually Squibble had kittens. I noticed she was putzing around my basement stairs quite a bit, so I took a peek down there, and three pairs of eyes were looking back. Apparently, she's been getting busy with another local stray, who I haven't named. Let's see ... he's black and he limps ... we'll call him Blimpy. Gotta give him props ... not many dudes can get action with a limp like that.
The kittens are the cutest, too. Well, duh. What kittens aren't cute? Mmm, well, those hairless ones are a little wiggy, but the ones with fur are all cool. Two black, one gray tabby.
Ok, enough smarm talk ... on to the recap! Started out at Bay Cafe, where I had to watch two of my friends eat non-de-veined shrimp. Bleh! I haven't been able to do that since that scene in Tommy Boy. Yeah, that one. You know the one I'm talking about.
I also was informed by the Hot Neighbor that I apparently used a line on one of her friends in a bar. The line? I asked her if she was on Myspace. See, the thing is, I ... don't ... use ... lines. If I ask if you are on Myspace, it's cuz I think you're on Myspace. If I ask if you washed your pants in Windex, cuz I can see myself in them ... um ... never mind.
Get this ... I managed to get drunk at the BC. Shocker! From there, went up to Granite, which is quickly becoming a favorite joint of mine to chill. As a bonus, this hottie from the gym that I kinda dig was there. It turns out I've been pronouncing her name wrong. I'm thinking I'm just going to start calling the women in my life by numbers, because either I get names wrong, misprounounce them, or forget them. Flooey.
So, I'm trying to talk to hottie, and this incredibly drunk dude keeps trying to talk to me. Um, hello? I know guys are dopes, but this is beyond dumb. At the least, c-block me and talk to the females. Needless to say, I got pretty much nowhere with hottie.
From there to Claddaugh where there were more hot women from the gym. Apparently, it was Hot Women From The Gym Night, and no one informed me. Dangit. I took a quick dive into Portside ... which I'm sure will shock you. At PS, I met this attractive woman and got her number, which is in the 302 area code. Um. Right. I have no clue where that is. For all I know, she lives on Mars. As a bonus, all I remember of her is (1) she's hot and (2) she's kinda tall. Allrighty then!
This just in ... the finest frozen pizza in the world is Totino's. The only problem is it takes a whole 12 minutes to make them, and that's something like 8 hours in drunk time. See if you can guess what my late night snack was. As a bonus, I also managed to get pizza crumbs all over the house. I'm still finding them - in the bed, on the couch, in my hair. Crimeny. I also managed to fall asleep without locking the door or turning on the alarm. Pure genius!
By the by, I'm not a big fan of my future wife Fiona's new CD, but Get Him Back is fantastic. Pure Fiona ... she's an evil little vixen, that one. Just in case you were wondering.
Went to the gym today. I'm shooting hoop and the hecka hot from the last blog decides to shoot as well. Needless to say, I couldn't make anything. Crimeny. I think I was blinded by her hotness ... or something like that. Fortunately, she wears very little clothing in there, and it's usually something tight, which really helps.
3 hours to shampoo buzz time!
I had kittens!
Well, ok, actually Squibble had kittens. I noticed she was putzing around my basement stairs quite a bit, so I took a peek down there, and three pairs of eyes were looking back. Apparently, she's been getting busy with another local stray, who I haven't named. Let's see ... he's black and he limps ... we'll call him Blimpy. Gotta give him props ... not many dudes can get action with a limp like that.
The kittens are the cutest, too. Well, duh. What kittens aren't cute? Mmm, well, those hairless ones are a little wiggy, but the ones with fur are all cool. Two black, one gray tabby.
Ok, enough smarm talk ... on to the recap! Started out at Bay Cafe, where I had to watch two of my friends eat non-de-veined shrimp. Bleh! I haven't been able to do that since that scene in Tommy Boy. Yeah, that one. You know the one I'm talking about.
I also was informed by the Hot Neighbor that I apparently used a line on one of her friends in a bar. The line? I asked her if she was on Myspace. See, the thing is, I ... don't ... use ... lines. If I ask if you are on Myspace, it's cuz I think you're on Myspace. If I ask if you washed your pants in Windex, cuz I can see myself in them ... um ... never mind.
Get this ... I managed to get drunk at the BC. Shocker! From there, went up to Granite, which is quickly becoming a favorite joint of mine to chill. As a bonus, this hottie from the gym that I kinda dig was there. It turns out I've been pronouncing her name wrong. I'm thinking I'm just going to start calling the women in my life by numbers, because either I get names wrong, misprounounce them, or forget them. Flooey.
So, I'm trying to talk to hottie, and this incredibly drunk dude keeps trying to talk to me. Um, hello? I know guys are dopes, but this is beyond dumb. At the least, c-block me and talk to the females. Needless to say, I got pretty much nowhere with hottie.
From there to Claddaugh where there were more hot women from the gym. Apparently, it was Hot Women From The Gym Night, and no one informed me. Dangit. I took a quick dive into Portside ... which I'm sure will shock you. At PS, I met this attractive woman and got her number, which is in the 302 area code. Um. Right. I have no clue where that is. For all I know, she lives on Mars. As a bonus, all I remember of her is (1) she's hot and (2) she's kinda tall. Allrighty then!
This just in ... the finest frozen pizza in the world is Totino's. The only problem is it takes a whole 12 minutes to make them, and that's something like 8 hours in drunk time. See if you can guess what my late night snack was. As a bonus, I also managed to get pizza crumbs all over the house. I'm still finding them - in the bed, on the couch, in my hair. Crimeny. I also managed to fall asleep without locking the door or turning on the alarm. Pure genius!
By the by, I'm not a big fan of my future wife Fiona's new CD, but Get Him Back is fantastic. Pure Fiona ... she's an evil little vixen, that one. Just in case you were wondering.
Went to the gym today. I'm shooting hoop and the hecka hot from the last blog decides to shoot as well. Needless to say, I couldn't make anything. Crimeny. I think I was blinded by her hotness ... or something like that. Fortunately, she wears very little clothing in there, and it's usually something tight, which really helps.
3 hours to shampoo buzz time!
posted by AxnJxn at 6:20 AM
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