Yeah, it's been a bit since my last blog. I had a couple of things combined that happened that sent me to Funkytown. Funkytown might've been fun in the 70s or whenever, but it's not that fun of a place for me. So, there's my excuse. Run with it as you wish.
Ok, we have a new candidate for the title of Most Inconsiderate Person at the gym! Isn't this exciting?! Now, this time of the year, gyms are packed with the New Years resolution fools. They come in, work out for a couple of weeks because this is the year they're going to get in shape, then realize they don't like working out and quit. Happens every single year. So, the month of January is a nightmare - the gym's generally packed to the rafters, and it's with dopes who generally don't know what they're doing.
Where was I? Oh, yes ... sorry, got off on a tangent rant. Stupid resolution yahoos. So, anyway, pretty much every gym worth it's salt has an unwritten, and a lot of times written, policy of a max of 30 minutes on the cardio machines during peak hours. That's during normal times. So, here it is, New Years resolution idiot time, plus it's peak time at the gym - 6:00p on a Tuesday - and this chick decides to run for an hour on the treadmill. Meantime, people are standing around waiting for machines. That's kwality!
So, I've had to edit my list of Most Annoying People at the gym. Here's the new list:
1) 60 Minutes At Peak Hour It's All About Me Broad
2) I'm Going To Sing On The Elliptical Machine So Loud Others Can Hear Me Even Though I'm A Terrible Singer Broad
3) The Three Stooges
I'm sure that list will grow. Stay tuned.
Cat talk! Those that aren't interested in cat talk can go read a magazine or think up new names for their private parts or something. I'm partial to Winkalicious myself. So, I hit Petsmart the other day, and I picked up one of those laser thingamajigys. I was pretty fired up. I've seen cats go Tom Cruise over these things (that's crazy in case you're wondering), and as an added bonus, my lazy mofo ass can sit right on the couch and work it. I had visions of running the furballs all over the place. I also have visions of Vida Guerra running all over the place, but that's a completely different story.
If I haven't mentioned it already, I have the world's coolest cat ... who is also the world's pansiest cat. He has what I like to call BPD ... Big Pansy Disease. He's afraid of EVERYTHING. So, I broke out the laser pointer and ... you guess it ... he's afraid of a red dot. He'll bolt upstairs if I so much as touch it now. Unbelievable. On the plus side, if he's annoying the hell out of me, I just pick it up and problem solved.
I also managed to scare the hell out of both of them last night. How'd I do that, you ask? Well, I'll tell you ... I walked upstairs. It was unbelievable. I'm not sure if they were secretly watching Friday The 13th upstairs or something, but I walked up, and they both Marilyn Mansoned (um, that's freaked).
The best part of getting a good scare on a cat is the puffy tail. The puffy tail RULES! Basically, when a cat is really spooked, it tries to make itself look bigger, so it'll turn sideways, raise up some, and puff up the tail. We had a cat in college that would do this move every time we walked in the door. Never failed to crack me up, and it still works today. Ol' Batman came tiptoeing out from under the futon after The Big Scare, and the ol' tail was still fluffed. Good humor, that.
Large weekend coming up. Got all kindsa stuff going on, including trips to two of the most pretentious joints in Baltimore - Red Maple and Pazo's. I might even have to break out the striped shirt for this noise. Tomorrow, to DC, and Sunday is the big game. No one's expecting the Steelers to win, so I say they're gonna win. Ha! So there. I might be a tad blinded by homerism, though. I have Monday off, so BOO YAH to all youse that don't. Enjoy workin', suckas!
I watched Ray this week ... 'twas my second viewing. That's some good stuff. I managed not to tear up and man-cry this time, though. Hit the road, Jack ... what you say?! If it wasn't for Phillip Seymour Hoffman kicking ass in Capote, I'd say give Jamie Foxx the Oscar.
Got in a tad bit of trouble last weekend. Met a young lady on Friday and we came back to my house and had a bit of a rock concert singalong drunken idiot thing at the wee hours of the morning. Next day, got a bit of an ugly look from the hot neighbor. Maybe the guitar wasn't tuned or something. I'm sure we both sounded stellar at that hour.
Ok, we have a new candidate for the title of Most Inconsiderate Person at the gym! Isn't this exciting?! Now, this time of the year, gyms are packed with the New Years resolution fools. They come in, work out for a couple of weeks because this is the year they're going to get in shape, then realize they don't like working out and quit. Happens every single year. So, the month of January is a nightmare - the gym's generally packed to the rafters, and it's with dopes who generally don't know what they're doing.
Where was I? Oh, yes ... sorry, got off on a tangent rant. Stupid resolution yahoos. So, anyway, pretty much every gym worth it's salt has an unwritten, and a lot of times written, policy of a max of 30 minutes on the cardio machines during peak hours. That's during normal times. So, here it is, New Years resolution idiot time, plus it's peak time at the gym - 6:00p on a Tuesday - and this chick decides to run for an hour on the treadmill. Meantime, people are standing around waiting for machines. That's kwality!
So, I've had to edit my list of Most Annoying People at the gym. Here's the new list:
1) 60 Minutes At Peak Hour It's All About Me Broad
2) I'm Going To Sing On The Elliptical Machine So Loud Others Can Hear Me Even Though I'm A Terrible Singer Broad
3) The Three Stooges
I'm sure that list will grow. Stay tuned.
Cat talk! Those that aren't interested in cat talk can go read a magazine or think up new names for their private parts or something. I'm partial to Winkalicious myself. So, I hit Petsmart the other day, and I picked up one of those laser thingamajigys. I was pretty fired up. I've seen cats go Tom Cruise over these things (that's crazy in case you're wondering), and as an added bonus, my lazy mofo ass can sit right on the couch and work it. I had visions of running the furballs all over the place. I also have visions of Vida Guerra running all over the place, but that's a completely different story.
If I haven't mentioned it already, I have the world's coolest cat ... who is also the world's pansiest cat. He has what I like to call BPD ... Big Pansy Disease. He's afraid of EVERYTHING. So, I broke out the laser pointer and ... you guess it ... he's afraid of a red dot. He'll bolt upstairs if I so much as touch it now. Unbelievable. On the plus side, if he's annoying the hell out of me, I just pick it up and problem solved.
I also managed to scare the hell out of both of them last night. How'd I do that, you ask? Well, I'll tell you ... I walked upstairs. It was unbelievable. I'm not sure if they were secretly watching Friday The 13th upstairs or something, but I walked up, and they both Marilyn Mansoned (um, that's freaked).
The best part of getting a good scare on a cat is the puffy tail. The puffy tail RULES! Basically, when a cat is really spooked, it tries to make itself look bigger, so it'll turn sideways, raise up some, and puff up the tail. We had a cat in college that would do this move every time we walked in the door. Never failed to crack me up, and it still works today. Ol' Batman came tiptoeing out from under the futon after The Big Scare, and the ol' tail was still fluffed. Good humor, that.
Large weekend coming up. Got all kindsa stuff going on, including trips to two of the most pretentious joints in Baltimore - Red Maple and Pazo's. I might even have to break out the striped shirt for this noise. Tomorrow, to DC, and Sunday is the big game. No one's expecting the Steelers to win, so I say they're gonna win. Ha! So there. I might be a tad blinded by homerism, though. I have Monday off, so BOO YAH to all youse that don't. Enjoy workin', suckas!
I watched Ray this week ... 'twas my second viewing. That's some good stuff. I managed not to tear up and man-cry this time, though. Hit the road, Jack ... what you say?! If it wasn't for Phillip Seymour Hoffman kicking ass in Capote, I'd say give Jamie Foxx the Oscar.
Got in a tad bit of trouble last weekend. Met a young lady on Friday and we came back to my house and had a bit of a rock concert singalong drunken idiot thing at the wee hours of the morning. Next day, got a bit of an ugly look from the hot neighbor. Maybe the guitar wasn't tuned or something. I'm sure we both sounded stellar at that hour.
posted by AxnJxn at 8:09 PM
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