Hey, long time, no talk! It's been an interesting bit of time since I last blogged. Let's start off with the list of places I went to last weekend.
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Yup, that's about it. Other than the gym and stopping by my bro's house for the requisite Christmas visit, I didn't leave the house. I barely showered. I'm very proud.
I did see a lot of movies, though. Saw Mr. and Mrs. Smith and spent most of the time marveling over how incredibly attractive Angelina is. Lord. That kind of beauty should seriously be illegal. It's almost pointless to watch her movies, because I never know what's going on - I just sit there with my mouth open. I think there was some shooting going on or something.
Let's see ... also saw Lords of Dogtown (good stuff), watched War of the Worlds again, watched Titanic for about the 50th time, repeat viewing of Sideways (which is just a phenomenal flick in all aspects ... unless you like big explosions), and I did a ton of sleeping and cat petting. I also made turkey. That's right, I'm single, and I can make turkeys. So there.
So, a few blogs back, I mentioned a beautiful woman that I met at Portside, who I had known a few years earlier. Well, on Wednesday, we went out on a date. I've come to the conclusion that I am just terrible at first dates, especially when I'm on one with someone I really dig. I'm good at every other aspect of dating - the first phone call, the exchange of blood test results, the breakup that leads to a month-long bout of binge drinking - but I struggle with the first date deal. Not exactly the best thing to be bad at, eh? So, let's count where I screwed up:
- I didn't compliment her on how she looked ... and she looked fantastic. Dumb move #1!
- At one point, I looked down and noticed that her beer was empty. I have no idea how long it was ... could've been for a week. Dumb x2!
- I was pretty much nervous the entire time. I'm always nervous on first dates ... it's a curse. When I'm nervous, I get kinda quiet. Needless to say, that rarely goes over well on a first date.
- I gave her a hug rather than a good night's kiss. That takes guts!
Ugh. As I was leaving her house, I remember thinking if that was an episode of Blind Date, I would've been calling the guy an idiot the whole time. I think I have one last chance ... she's supposed to be in Canton tonight, so I'm going to send her a text to see if she wants to meet up. I figure if I don't get a response, I'll already be well on my way to drowning my sorrows in booze. It's good to be prepared for all outcomes.
Ok, bring on the flood of advice that I know is coming. On to other stuff ...
Pretty fired up for New Year's Eve. Going to a small party with a few friends and just chillin'. I refuse to go out on Amateur Night these days. I mean, here I am, a Professional Drunken Idiot - I'm even licensed in multiple states as such - and there are going to be people out there who haven't even applied for a license. Fuhgedaboudit. I've also yet to figure out the logic of paying $100 to go to the same bars as always. I mean, I may be dumb, but I'm not stupid.
Funny thing at the gym the other day. I'm on the elliptical thingy, and I find a set of keys in the cupholder. I go to the desk, and here's the convo with the desk girl:
Me: Hi ... someone left their keys upstairs.
She: You left your keys upstairs?
Me: [pause] Uh, why would I be giving you my keys?
She: [pause] You want to give me your keys?
Me: [longer pause] Let's start over ...
Now, I know I'm prone to be a bit of a soft talking mumbler, but c'mon!
My favorite resolution, and the same one I make every year - I resolve this year not to make any resolutions. Confusing, eh?
Went shopping the other day. Had to get some new duds for the big date, and I wanted to hit some sales in general. Man, going to a mall to me is like poking myself in the eye with a pitchfork repeatedly. Just sayin'. I did get a couple of fine new shirt, though. Went to Men's Wearhouse (which, as I believe I've mentioned before, I like to call Men Swearhouse ... yeah, I'm a dork) and re-bought this shirt that I absolutely love.
Ok, make sure you're sitting down for this part ... it's a striped shirt.
That's right, people. I bought a striped shirt. Now, if you're saying to yourself, "wait a second ... that idiot bought a striped shirt a number of blogs back", well, you'd be right. I say re-bought because I managed to put the original shirt I bought in the wash and it came out looking like it might be a good fit for a jockey. Smartly, I decided to read the label AFTER I washed and dried it. Brilliance personified, me. In essence, this shirt cost me $120. I had a coupon and got some money off, so I actually got two pretty cool shirts for $35, so I'm rationalizing it away.
A'ight, merry merry everyone and have a safe New Year's!
...
...
...
Yup, that's about it. Other than the gym and stopping by my bro's house for the requisite Christmas visit, I didn't leave the house. I barely showered. I'm very proud.
I did see a lot of movies, though. Saw Mr. and Mrs. Smith and spent most of the time marveling over how incredibly attractive Angelina is. Lord. That kind of beauty should seriously be illegal. It's almost pointless to watch her movies, because I never know what's going on - I just sit there with my mouth open. I think there was some shooting going on or something.
Let's see ... also saw Lords of Dogtown (good stuff), watched War of the Worlds again, watched Titanic for about the 50th time, repeat viewing of Sideways (which is just a phenomenal flick in all aspects ... unless you like big explosions), and I did a ton of sleeping and cat petting. I also made turkey. That's right, I'm single, and I can make turkeys. So there.
So, a few blogs back, I mentioned a beautiful woman that I met at Portside, who I had known a few years earlier. Well, on Wednesday, we went out on a date. I've come to the conclusion that I am just terrible at first dates, especially when I'm on one with someone I really dig. I'm good at every other aspect of dating - the first phone call, the exchange of blood test results, the breakup that leads to a month-long bout of binge drinking - but I struggle with the first date deal. Not exactly the best thing to be bad at, eh? So, let's count where I screwed up:
- I didn't compliment her on how she looked ... and she looked fantastic. Dumb move #1!
- At one point, I looked down and noticed that her beer was empty. I have no idea how long it was ... could've been for a week. Dumb x2!
- I was pretty much nervous the entire time. I'm always nervous on first dates ... it's a curse. When I'm nervous, I get kinda quiet. Needless to say, that rarely goes over well on a first date.
- I gave her a hug rather than a good night's kiss. That takes guts!
Ugh. As I was leaving her house, I remember thinking if that was an episode of Blind Date, I would've been calling the guy an idiot the whole time. I think I have one last chance ... she's supposed to be in Canton tonight, so I'm going to send her a text to see if she wants to meet up. I figure if I don't get a response, I'll already be well on my way to drowning my sorrows in booze. It's good to be prepared for all outcomes.
Ok, bring on the flood of advice that I know is coming. On to other stuff ...
Pretty fired up for New Year's Eve. Going to a small party with a few friends and just chillin'. I refuse to go out on Amateur Night these days. I mean, here I am, a Professional Drunken Idiot - I'm even licensed in multiple states as such - and there are going to be people out there who haven't even applied for a license. Fuhgedaboudit. I've also yet to figure out the logic of paying $100 to go to the same bars as always. I mean, I may be dumb, but I'm not stupid.
Funny thing at the gym the other day. I'm on the elliptical thingy, and I find a set of keys in the cupholder. I go to the desk, and here's the convo with the desk girl:
Me: Hi ... someone left their keys upstairs.
She: You left your keys upstairs?
Me: [pause] Uh, why would I be giving you my keys?
She: [pause] You want to give me your keys?
Me: [longer pause] Let's start over ...
Now, I know I'm prone to be a bit of a soft talking mumbler, but c'mon!
My favorite resolution, and the same one I make every year - I resolve this year not to make any resolutions. Confusing, eh?
Went shopping the other day. Had to get some new duds for the big date, and I wanted to hit some sales in general. Man, going to a mall to me is like poking myself in the eye with a pitchfork repeatedly. Just sayin'. I did get a couple of fine new shirt, though. Went to Men's Wearhouse (which, as I believe I've mentioned before, I like to call Men Swearhouse ... yeah, I'm a dork) and re-bought this shirt that I absolutely love.
Ok, make sure you're sitting down for this part ... it's a striped shirt.
That's right, people. I bought a striped shirt. Now, if you're saying to yourself, "wait a second ... that idiot bought a striped shirt a number of blogs back", well, you'd be right. I say re-bought because I managed to put the original shirt I bought in the wash and it came out looking like it might be a good fit for a jockey. Smartly, I decided to read the label AFTER I washed and dried it. Brilliance personified, me. In essence, this shirt cost me $120. I had a coupon and got some money off, so I actually got two pretty cool shirts for $35, so I'm rationalizing it away.
A'ight, merry merry everyone and have a safe New Year's!
posted by AxnJxn at 6:16 AM
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