So, I'm yammering with a female friend at work, and we start discussing men's watches. Apparently, women use watches like they use shoes on a dude ... you know, as a sort of measuring stick. I don't wear a watch. At all. Ever. I tell time by my cell phone. Explains a lot, doesn't it? I do, however, wear shoes ... quite often, in fact, so I think it balances out.
I absolutely hate getting my hair cut, and I absolutely hate the word hate. So, what I'm saying is ... what the hell am I saying? Oh, yes, the hair cutting thing. I'm not really sure why I hate it so much. I mean, it's not painful, it's not expensive, it's just an incredible annoyance. I used to go to the Hair Butchery ... er, Cuttery ... but I'm going to try a joint just around the corner this time.
'Course, the only thing worse than getting my hair cut is getting a bad haircut. Once, at the Butchery, I had a little communication problem with the butcher ... er, "stylist" (like they actually style your hair for 12 bucks - please!). Anyway, I literally looked like a Chia pet when I got done with that cut. LOTS of hat wearing that month, lemme tell ya.
I made steak fajitas tonight. They turned out ok, but for the life of me, I cannot seem to figure out how to wrap up anything in a tortilla. It's bloody ridiculous. Tonight, I'm trying to hold this thing together, and it falls apart like a house of cards in a hurricane. So, steak fajita salad was immediately invented.
So, I had a kind of a weird dichotomy at the gym the other day. Yeah, I know what dichotomy means ... I think. I'm pretty sure. Maybe. Anyway. So, I'm sitting there, and I'm listening to this World Party tune. I'm not sure what it's about, but I think it's got some biblical sorta references in there or something. They're sorta Beatle-esque, so it's one of those relaxing peace pop sorta songs. Anyway, as I'm listening to this, I'm watching this class called BODY COMBAT. I put it in caps because I just seem to envision someone booming out the name every time they say it.
Welcome one and all to BODY COMBAT!
Tonight, in the back aerobics room, we'll be having a BODY COMBAT class.
I take BODY COMBAT because there are hot girls in there.
You know, that sorta thing. So, anyway, I was just struck at me listening to this tune, while people are practicing beating the urine out of other people as a means of staying in shape. Odd. I do love the idea of staying in shape by beating other people up. There's a joke in there somewhere, but I can't find it right now.
Ah, so I just downloaded a Beck tune from the Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind soundtrack. Good stuff. Both the movie and the song. Dig it.
I'm inherently lazy. I was looking around my house tonight, and I realized that it's gonna suck when I die and someone has to come in here and clean up this joint. I'm not dirty or nuttin', I just am somewhat materialistic and I have a lot of junk. F'rinstance? A'ight:
- I have this little Rumplemintz shot thingy that a former supervisor gave me. It just sits on my desk, collecting dust. It's pretty dusty.
- I have a little tube of Elmer's glue. I've never, ever used it, but I still have it. Probably had it for 10 years. I think I keep it more for the bottle than anything else. Good ol' Elmer's.
- I have an old, beat up portable CD player that doesn't work anymore. I still have it. Don't ask, because I don't have any clue why.
- I have a stuffed rabbit. I haven't the slightest idea who gave it to me, but I still have it. Like the Rumplemintz thingy, it's good at collecting dust. Hey, it's a Dust Bunny! HA!
- I have a 3 hole punch. Right. You read that correctly.
- I probably have at least 5 beer bottle openers. I hate beer, haven't drank it in at least 15 years, and I rarely have guests. Yet I have at least 5 of these things. Pure genius.
- I bought this Red Lye crap to clear my bathtub drain. It worked about as well as using an old toothbrush to comb your hair. Yet, it's got soooooo many friggin' warnings on it, I'm almost afraid to throw it out. I get this visual of the garbagedude running around with his hair on fire. I get some vivid and dumb visuals sometimes.
- I have a bicycle helmet, even though I think bicycle helmets are for complete and total pansies.
I'm stopping there but I could go on for hours. I'm very proud of the worthless junk I've collected. Maybe I should change my name to Fred Sanford. Lamont!
I absolutely hate getting my hair cut, and I absolutely hate the word hate. So, what I'm saying is ... what the hell am I saying? Oh, yes, the hair cutting thing. I'm not really sure why I hate it so much. I mean, it's not painful, it's not expensive, it's just an incredible annoyance. I used to go to the Hair Butchery ... er, Cuttery ... but I'm going to try a joint just around the corner this time.
'Course, the only thing worse than getting my hair cut is getting a bad haircut. Once, at the Butchery, I had a little communication problem with the butcher ... er, "stylist" (like they actually style your hair for 12 bucks - please!). Anyway, I literally looked like a Chia pet when I got done with that cut. LOTS of hat wearing that month, lemme tell ya.
I made steak fajitas tonight. They turned out ok, but for the life of me, I cannot seem to figure out how to wrap up anything in a tortilla. It's bloody ridiculous. Tonight, I'm trying to hold this thing together, and it falls apart like a house of cards in a hurricane. So, steak fajita salad was immediately invented.
So, I had a kind of a weird dichotomy at the gym the other day. Yeah, I know what dichotomy means ... I think. I'm pretty sure. Maybe. Anyway. So, I'm sitting there, and I'm listening to this World Party tune. I'm not sure what it's about, but I think it's got some biblical sorta references in there or something. They're sorta Beatle-esque, so it's one of those relaxing peace pop sorta songs. Anyway, as I'm listening to this, I'm watching this class called BODY COMBAT. I put it in caps because I just seem to envision someone booming out the name every time they say it.
Welcome one and all to BODY COMBAT!
Tonight, in the back aerobics room, we'll be having a BODY COMBAT class.
I take BODY COMBAT because there are hot girls in there.
You know, that sorta thing. So, anyway, I was just struck at me listening to this tune, while people are practicing beating the urine out of other people as a means of staying in shape. Odd. I do love the idea of staying in shape by beating other people up. There's a joke in there somewhere, but I can't find it right now.
Ah, so I just downloaded a Beck tune from the Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind soundtrack. Good stuff. Both the movie and the song. Dig it.
I'm inherently lazy. I was looking around my house tonight, and I realized that it's gonna suck when I die and someone has to come in here and clean up this joint. I'm not dirty or nuttin', I just am somewhat materialistic and I have a lot of junk. F'rinstance? A'ight:
- I have this little Rumplemintz shot thingy that a former supervisor gave me. It just sits on my desk, collecting dust. It's pretty dusty.
- I have a little tube of Elmer's glue. I've never, ever used it, but I still have it. Probably had it for 10 years. I think I keep it more for the bottle than anything else. Good ol' Elmer's.
- I have an old, beat up portable CD player that doesn't work anymore. I still have it. Don't ask, because I don't have any clue why.
- I have a stuffed rabbit. I haven't the slightest idea who gave it to me, but I still have it. Like the Rumplemintz thingy, it's good at collecting dust. Hey, it's a Dust Bunny! HA!
- I have a 3 hole punch. Right. You read that correctly.
- I probably have at least 5 beer bottle openers. I hate beer, haven't drank it in at least 15 years, and I rarely have guests. Yet I have at least 5 of these things. Pure genius.
- I bought this Red Lye crap to clear my bathtub drain. It worked about as well as using an old toothbrush to comb your hair. Yet, it's got soooooo many friggin' warnings on it, I'm almost afraid to throw it out. I get this visual of the garbagedude running around with his hair on fire. I get some vivid and dumb visuals sometimes.
- I have a bicycle helmet, even though I think bicycle helmets are for complete and total pansies.
I'm stopping there but I could go on for hours. I'm very proud of the worthless junk I've collected. Maybe I should change my name to Fred Sanford. Lamont!
posted by AxnJxn at 6:34 PM
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