Another weekend in the books. Let's see if I can recap this one.
Friday, I was determined not to drink so much, since I had a little trouble remembering most of the previous weekend. That lasted about an hour. Ok, ok, I actually did a fairly good job of it. Nevertheless, I still ended up at 3 am standing under the awning at Nacho Mama's with a pizza in my hand, watching the rain and talking to the hot neighbor on the phone (who was in Las Vegas at the time). No, I don't have any idea how I get myself into these situations, but I do. I'm not proud.
I eventually gave up and walked home in the rain by myself. It would've been really sad if I wasn't so happy. Why? I haven't the slightest idea. Life is good in general, peeps - how's that? I did get a wave on the way home from a hottie who was walking her dog, so I must not look that bad at 3 am ... in the rain ... with a pizza.
Saturday, went to the O's game and watched a circus break out. It would have been comical if it wasn't my favorite baseball team playing like a bunch of clowns. Fortunately, I only paid $10 for a fantastic seat 8 rows behind the plate. I had a great view ... of the player's wives/girlfriends. 'Twas a whole lot better than watching the game, that's for sure. I saw the largest pair of implants ever, too. It was almost frightening. This young lady weighed maybe 110, and then her boobs added another 30-40 pounds on her frame. Needless to say, she got a lot of attention.
From there, headed down to Powerplant to see the free Violent Femmes show. I arrived there at around 7. My friends arrived just before 9. Is there anything dumber then allowing me to sit in a bar and drink for two hours before you show up? Upon arrival, one of them noted that I had a Have A Nice Day sticker on the back of my shirt. I guess it's better than walking around with "Kick Me" sticker on my back, but not much. When I find out who did that ... ah, hell, I'm never going to find out. Whatevah.
So, the show started, as did the rain. It wasn't raining hard enough to stop the band or for us to go inside, and it wasn't not raining. So, it was just an annoying version of rain. I'd call it Andy Dick rain ... not enough to really piss you off, but enough to piss you off. In the middle, we watched two idiots get into a lovely fight ... they were so drunk it was basically in slow motion. Let's see ... reason #28 why I don't go to Powerplant. I think the list has about 117 items on it. As we were leaving, we watched a young woman try to stop her boyfriend from being arrested, and she in turn was taken down to the ground rather loudly and arrested herself. Well done!
From there, we went to Sly Fox (zzz), Captain Larry's (some pretty scary lookin' folk in there), then to Thirsty Dog. The Dawg is always a fine time - we know the bartenders, and there's always someone to f*** with in there. Being the charming dude I am, I noticed a couple of hippie looking chicks at the bar, so I immediately went over and asked them if it was 4:20. I don't think I've ever seen two people get that paranoid that fast. Quality stuff. I'm sure they still think I'm a cop.
Split out of that joint after a bit, and hit an extremely crowded Magerk's. Amazingly enough, I couldn't handle it. Yeah, I know, I'm slipping in my old age. So, I bounced around the corner to the karaoke place I've been frequenting.
Upon arrival, I noticed two things: (1) my ex-GF sitting by the window and (2) two hecka hot girls from my old football team. Needless to say, hecka hot trumps ex-GF, so I stayed. For some reason, one of the heckas decided it was a good night to spank me. I realize there's a market out there for spanking ... hell, my Mom spent a good part of my first 12-14 years on this earth spanking the beejesus outta me ... but I'm not really into it in a sexual sort of way.
I'm not sure hecka understood that and, well, let's face it - I'm not really dumb enough to stop a hecka hot from doing something somewhat sexual to me. As I like to say, I may be dumb, but I'm not stupid. Also, I think in the future, I may just refer to hecka hots as HHs, just to make things simpler. Yes, I'm a lazy SOB.
It's time for the text message scoreboard! Here's this week's sampling:
Sea monkey slot machine!
YES! I love when people communicate w/me while peeing
There's nothing yummy here right now
This isn't a contest ... I do have bigger boobs
I'm at Powerplant ... wake me when it's over
I'm barky!
That was pretty much the weekend in a nutshell. Sunday was spent sleeping and watching an entire afternoon of M*A*S*H. Yes, I'm a dorknerd.
A pet peeve at the grocery store. So, I'm checking out tonight, and I've got my stuff on the belt with the grocery spacer after it so's the next person can start to load the belt with their schlop. Now, there's about a foot of room there, and there's a bit of a delay at the cashier so some yahoo can write a check (who in their right mind writes checks anymore? WTF? Is it 1992?).
So, anyway, the tool behind me starts piling stuff on the belt. Now, he quickly fills up the space I've left him, so he starts piling the stuff up, like some sort of grocery house of cards. I mean, how idiotic can you be? Is it really going to be a major problem if the belt starts going again and you don't have every single item you are buying on the belt? I see this behavior often, and it's absolutely baffling to me. Friggin' people.
Oh, almost forgot - I did see one of the gym girls from the previous weekend's party (the party that I didn't remember, and was concerned that I did something stupid). So, I asked her point blank if I did anything dumb, and she proceeded to tell me that I've never been anything but completely respectful. I was so flabbergasted, I forgot to ask her to sleep with me. Damnit. So many missed opportunities.
Ok, I have to go get my Yahtzee fix now. I might need an intervention soon ...
Friday, I was determined not to drink so much, since I had a little trouble remembering most of the previous weekend. That lasted about an hour. Ok, ok, I actually did a fairly good job of it. Nevertheless, I still ended up at 3 am standing under the awning at Nacho Mama's with a pizza in my hand, watching the rain and talking to the hot neighbor on the phone (who was in Las Vegas at the time). No, I don't have any idea how I get myself into these situations, but I do. I'm not proud.
I eventually gave up and walked home in the rain by myself. It would've been really sad if I wasn't so happy. Why? I haven't the slightest idea. Life is good in general, peeps - how's that? I did get a wave on the way home from a hottie who was walking her dog, so I must not look that bad at 3 am ... in the rain ... with a pizza.
Saturday, went to the O's game and watched a circus break out. It would have been comical if it wasn't my favorite baseball team playing like a bunch of clowns. Fortunately, I only paid $10 for a fantastic seat 8 rows behind the plate. I had a great view ... of the player's wives/girlfriends. 'Twas a whole lot better than watching the game, that's for sure. I saw the largest pair of implants ever, too. It was almost frightening. This young lady weighed maybe 110, and then her boobs added another 30-40 pounds on her frame. Needless to say, she got a lot of attention.
From there, headed down to Powerplant to see the free Violent Femmes show. I arrived there at around 7. My friends arrived just before 9. Is there anything dumber then allowing me to sit in a bar and drink for two hours before you show up? Upon arrival, one of them noted that I had a Have A Nice Day sticker on the back of my shirt. I guess it's better than walking around with "Kick Me" sticker on my back, but not much. When I find out who did that ... ah, hell, I'm never going to find out. Whatevah.
So, the show started, as did the rain. It wasn't raining hard enough to stop the band or for us to go inside, and it wasn't not raining. So, it was just an annoying version of rain. I'd call it Andy Dick rain ... not enough to really piss you off, but enough to piss you off. In the middle, we watched two idiots get into a lovely fight ... they were so drunk it was basically in slow motion. Let's see ... reason #28 why I don't go to Powerplant. I think the list has about 117 items on it. As we were leaving, we watched a young woman try to stop her boyfriend from being arrested, and she in turn was taken down to the ground rather loudly and arrested herself. Well done!
From there, we went to Sly Fox (zzz), Captain Larry's (some pretty scary lookin' folk in there), then to Thirsty Dog. The Dawg is always a fine time - we know the bartenders, and there's always someone to f*** with in there. Being the charming dude I am, I noticed a couple of hippie looking chicks at the bar, so I immediately went over and asked them if it was 4:20. I don't think I've ever seen two people get that paranoid that fast. Quality stuff. I'm sure they still think I'm a cop.
Split out of that joint after a bit, and hit an extremely crowded Magerk's. Amazingly enough, I couldn't handle it. Yeah, I know, I'm slipping in my old age. So, I bounced around the corner to the karaoke place I've been frequenting.
Upon arrival, I noticed two things: (1) my ex-GF sitting by the window and (2) two hecka hot girls from my old football team. Needless to say, hecka hot trumps ex-GF, so I stayed. For some reason, one of the heckas decided it was a good night to spank me. I realize there's a market out there for spanking ... hell, my Mom spent a good part of my first 12-14 years on this earth spanking the beejesus outta me ... but I'm not really into it in a sexual sort of way.
I'm not sure hecka understood that and, well, let's face it - I'm not really dumb enough to stop a hecka hot from doing something somewhat sexual to me. As I like to say, I may be dumb, but I'm not stupid. Also, I think in the future, I may just refer to hecka hots as HHs, just to make things simpler. Yes, I'm a lazy SOB.
It's time for the text message scoreboard! Here's this week's sampling:
Sea monkey slot machine!
YES! I love when people communicate w/me while peeing
There's nothing yummy here right now
This isn't a contest ... I do have bigger boobs
I'm at Powerplant ... wake me when it's over
I'm barky!
That was pretty much the weekend in a nutshell. Sunday was spent sleeping and watching an entire afternoon of M*A*S*H. Yes, I'm a dorknerd.
A pet peeve at the grocery store. So, I'm checking out tonight, and I've got my stuff on the belt with the grocery spacer after it so's the next person can start to load the belt with their schlop. Now, there's about a foot of room there, and there's a bit of a delay at the cashier so some yahoo can write a check (who in their right mind writes checks anymore? WTF? Is it 1992?).
So, anyway, the tool behind me starts piling stuff on the belt. Now, he quickly fills up the space I've left him, so he starts piling the stuff up, like some sort of grocery house of cards. I mean, how idiotic can you be? Is it really going to be a major problem if the belt starts going again and you don't have every single item you are buying on the belt? I see this behavior often, and it's absolutely baffling to me. Friggin' people.
Oh, almost forgot - I did see one of the gym girls from the previous weekend's party (the party that I didn't remember, and was concerned that I did something stupid). So, I asked her point blank if I did anything dumb, and she proceeded to tell me that I've never been anything but completely respectful. I was so flabbergasted, I forgot to ask her to sleep with me. Damnit. So many missed opportunities.
Ok, I have to go get my Yahtzee fix now. I might need an intervention soon ...
posted by AxnJxn at 7:14 PM
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