Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Ok, I've had this jingle in my head for about a month now. Ready? Warning: this is so incredibly stupid ...

For nuts who are nuts about nuts
We're nuts about Payday (nuts about Payday)
For nuts who are nuts about nuts
We're talking 'bout Payday (sqwuakin' 'bout Payday)

I also can't spell squak ... sqwuak ... well, you see what happened there. If you're wondering what that is, well, you're too friggin' young to read this blog! Heh. Ok, maybe not. That's an old Payday commercial, as in the candy bar. Yup, I'm starting to scare myself.

Hey, anyone ever have the co-worker that has to work on the weekends? Well, I've figured out how to keep them in the fun. Go visit them at work! Only problem is, I'm a computer geek in the Emergency Department at a hospital. Yeah. Not the best of ideas to go visiting there on a weekend, especially after a full day of drinking.

Well, screw that, that's exactly what I did!

Ok, so I didn't do anything to myself, and I got some SERIOUS chivalry points. I'm talking to a young lass in the usual bar (say it together now ... Portside! ... the finest bar in the history of ... um ... bars), and she stopped and winced. I figured it was something I said (I had been drinking since 1) but NO! She decided the best way to get me to stop bothering her was to step on a beer bottle.

Clearly, she's never met me when drunk before. Ha! So, I suggested we step outside to check out the cut ... cuz I'm smooth like that, doncha know. We get outside, and I realize there's blood all over the step ... and it's coming from her foot. Um, not good. Not good at all, Paul. The bouncer is kind enough to bring out a huge stack of napkins, and after having some fun with the local police, it's off to the hospital in an ambulance.

Long, silly story short, she got 4 stitches in her foot, her friend was pretty much drunk and passed out in the waiting room, so I got to hold her hand the whole time. Hey, dudes ... a tip ... if you get her blood on your hands when trying to stop a cut on her foot, she'll feel obligated to give you her phone number. And, if you're real smooth or she's real drunk ... or both ... maybe a kiss or two.

I'm off to Deep Creek for the weekend with a large group of folks. There may be a story or two or five outta this trip. Adios!

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