Let's talk gym posers. Actually, I'll write about them, and you read. Might be a little easier for this forum. Actually, you can talk about them all you want, I just won't hear you. Shoot ... forgot what I was going to say.

Ok, let's talk Real World. If you don't watch the Real World, give yourself 10 more IQ points than me and move over there ------------> for now.

Two notes from the latest show:

1) Svetlana is officially the dumbest girl on TV. She's far surpassed anything Paris Hilton has done or said, and ... well, Brittney Spears might actually still be ahead of Svetlana after getting knocked up again. Anyway, quote of the show from Tyler, the token gay dude: "I got ass last night, now she [Svetlana] thinks her boyfriend's gay. You make the connection." Classic.

And, yes, I'm well aware that I thought she was incredibly hot at the start of the season. Pipe down!

2) Whoever the third chick is - not Paula the Anorexic and not Svetlana the Idiot - she must be the most boring person ever. I think it's over halfway through the season, and she's been on the show about 4 minutes total. She's kinda hot, too ... maybe she's actually got a brain, and they don't want to ruin the show for all the teen boys out there. 'Course, I'm seriously old enough to be all of their fathers ... if I had kids at an early age. My response to that thought is right out of Fonzie World - sit on it!

Ok, gym posers. I remember now. So, I'm in the gym on Tuesday, and there's this woman in there on the stairmaster. She's got it on quite possibly the slowest speed ... you know, the speed that's so slow that she actually might be walking downstairs or something ... and she's pretty much laying on the machine. Yeah, yeah, you caught me - I noticed this because she's hecka hot. Didn't I tell you to pipe down earlier?

Anyway, so later, she comes downstairs to "work out". That's in quotes because as I'm on one of the leg machines, she gets on a chest machine. As I'm doing my sets, I watch her sit down and start adjusting - hair, shirt, implants, etc. She gets done adjusting and ... sits there. And sits. I finish 3 sets before she does one. I do my 4th set, change machines, and do another three before she does another. In between sets, she's primping, adjusting, and in general making sure she's seen. 'Course, I guess in my case, it's working. Heh. Gym poser, Exhibit A.

Let's see if I can remember the weekend.

Friday, got good and drunk before the sun went down. Sing along with me ... Bay Cafe Happy Hour! We've come to the collective conclusion that there are three types of people that go to BC:

- Hecka hots
- Older people that used to be hecka hots
- Quite ugly folks that like to look at hecka hots

I think it's possible I might be part of all three groups. Other things learned:

- women wearing high heels struggle walking through sand
- the sun is my friend ... unless it's in my eyes for an hour
- if they can't find your tab, put your drinks on someone else's
- if you want someone to stop bugging you, spill your drink

From BC, we went to Austin Grill, which was really cool except for one problem - it took almost 30 minutes to get a drink. I even left my card there because I wasn't going to wait another 30 minutes to sign my tab. The hot neighbor went with me to pick it up on Monday. As I'm waiting for it, she informs the bartender that it's in the "Idiot pile". I had to spend the next 10 minutes explaining to her why it was a smart move to leave the card there. Friggin' women!

At one point, I'm sitting on the stage, and I see this hottie from my gym. I wave at her, and she does the old "are you waving at me?" move, complete with a turn to look behind her to make sure I was waving at her. Hmm. We wave her over, and she spends more time talking to my friends than she does to me. At least I got her name ... Ambrosia ... no, uh ... Anesthesia ... no ... Anastasia! Yeah. I'm great with names. Needless to say, I didn't get her number. It's just as well - she's the one that drives me nuts by singing on the elliptical machine. Friggin' women!

Strangely enough, that was pretty much it. I stopped in at Portside, which was average, then grabbed a pizza and headed home.

Saturday was a perfect day ... for going to the Townsontown Festival and making fun of people. Ok, ok, the PC people call it "people watching", but we all know it's really fun pokin'. I also enjoyed how the had the country beer garden at the bottom of a hill among all the trees. Sort of a fitting setting - put the hillbillies in the bog.

Got home around 8 and ... hold the phone ... I stayed in. Yup. Didn't do squadoosh all night. I think I might've been in bed by midnight. Hey ... don't be "people watching" me, now!