Arriba! That's right, people, it's Cinco de Mayo, which is the celebration of ... um ... ah, who cares, it's another excuse to drink! Always fun when they put these holidays on a weekend, too, so you can get extra special super duper silly.
I still owe a recap of Saturday night. Let's do this voice recording style again. These are direct quotes from the machine, too.
VR#1
"The DJ doesn't know who New Order is ... he had to pull out The Book! New Order, for God's sake!"
Yeah. I'm at Portside, it's fairly early ... well, early for me and Portside, which is somewhere around 10:30 ... and I figured I could get the dude in the corner to play a tune that I actually know and like. Seems to be a tough combo in that joint these days, what with the likes of the humps song and the other junk they play for the 5 people dancing. Anyway, so I ask him if he has any New Order, and he looks at me like I have 9 heads. Not just 2, 9 heads, people. I felt like I had asked for him to play The Wiggles or something. Funny thing is, if this dude plays any sort of dance music in a club, it's likely that there's some New Order sampled in a number of those songs. Whatever. Friggin' DJs.
VR#2
"Yeah, I got the hiccups twice. Not just once, but twice!"
There are a lot of things I don't like. People that don't use turn signals. Coconut rum. You know what's coming next ... that's right, Tom Cruise. Or, even worse, Tom Cruise having a conversation with Paris Hilton. Topping all of those disliked things are the hiccups. I think Saturday night was Perpetual Hiccup Night, because I had them most of the evening. I wish someone would've warned me ahead of time so I could've stuck my head in the oven beforehand. There's nothing better than introducing yourself to a hottie like this:
Me: Uh [hic] hi, my name is Ja[hic]ck. What's you[hic]r name?
She: Um, I have to go over here ---------> now.
Friggin' hiccups.
VR#3
"Shirt that smells like iced tea"
Yup, this one's pretty much self-explanatory. Well, maybe I should clarify - not Ice T, the rapper, but iced tea, the drink. I'm not sure which would be worse, actually. I have these two new shirts, and I tried one of those home dry cleaning things, and it came out smelling like iced tea. Yeah. Think about that for a second. Not really the worst smell in the world, but not something you want to be smelling like if you're attempting to attract the opposite sex. Or even the same sex, for that matter. Dousing it in cologne seemed to somehow make it worse, too. I even tried spraying cologne in the dry cleaning bag. No dice.
The evening actually turned out pretty well. Met up with a couple of friends, went to the Bay Cafe late night (which is quite possibly even stranger than it normally is, which is pretty strange), and got home around 5 am. Oh, and I left my credit card at Portside and had to go back and get it the next day. Always a fun thing to do.
Me: Um, yeah, I left my card here last night.
Bartender dude: [raised eyebrow]
Me: Believe me, it was worth it!
BD: [unraised eyebrow]
Me: [sheepishly handing over $10 for the tip I missed the previous night and splitting quickly]
Look, I don't care how hot you are, there's no PDA in the friggin' gym! There's this way hot woman in there last night, and she's smooching with her boyfriend by the squat machine. Cripes. Ok, well, I'm assuming that's a boyfriend ... I guess she could be paying for her training sessions or something.
Tonight, the coolest dudes in music, Ed and Frank, will be playing at the Austin Grill in Canton at 9. I'm not sure it gets any better than that, unless they decide to play at Portside someday. Or in my backyard. Hmm ...
Arrrrrrrrriba!
I still owe a recap of Saturday night. Let's do this voice recording style again. These are direct quotes from the machine, too.
VR#1
"The DJ doesn't know who New Order is ... he had to pull out The Book! New Order, for God's sake!"
Yeah. I'm at Portside, it's fairly early ... well, early for me and Portside, which is somewhere around 10:30 ... and I figured I could get the dude in the corner to play a tune that I actually know and like. Seems to be a tough combo in that joint these days, what with the likes of the humps song and the other junk they play for the 5 people dancing. Anyway, so I ask him if he has any New Order, and he looks at me like I have 9 heads. Not just 2, 9 heads, people. I felt like I had asked for him to play The Wiggles or something. Funny thing is, if this dude plays any sort of dance music in a club, it's likely that there's some New Order sampled in a number of those songs. Whatever. Friggin' DJs.
VR#2
"Yeah, I got the hiccups twice. Not just once, but twice!"
There are a lot of things I don't like. People that don't use turn signals. Coconut rum. You know what's coming next ... that's right, Tom Cruise. Or, even worse, Tom Cruise having a conversation with Paris Hilton. Topping all of those disliked things are the hiccups. I think Saturday night was Perpetual Hiccup Night, because I had them most of the evening. I wish someone would've warned me ahead of time so I could've stuck my head in the oven beforehand. There's nothing better than introducing yourself to a hottie like this:
Me: Uh [hic] hi, my name is Ja[hic]ck. What's you[hic]r name?
She: Um, I have to go over here ---------> now.
Friggin' hiccups.
VR#3
"Shirt that smells like iced tea"
Yup, this one's pretty much self-explanatory. Well, maybe I should clarify - not Ice T, the rapper, but iced tea, the drink. I'm not sure which would be worse, actually. I have these two new shirts, and I tried one of those home dry cleaning things, and it came out smelling like iced tea. Yeah. Think about that for a second. Not really the worst smell in the world, but not something you want to be smelling like if you're attempting to attract the opposite sex. Or even the same sex, for that matter. Dousing it in cologne seemed to somehow make it worse, too. I even tried spraying cologne in the dry cleaning bag. No dice.
The evening actually turned out pretty well. Met up with a couple of friends, went to the Bay Cafe late night (which is quite possibly even stranger than it normally is, which is pretty strange), and got home around 5 am. Oh, and I left my credit card at Portside and had to go back and get it the next day. Always a fun thing to do.
Me: Um, yeah, I left my card here last night.
Bartender dude: [raised eyebrow]
Me: Believe me, it was worth it!
BD: [unraised eyebrow]
Me: [sheepishly handing over $10 for the tip I missed the previous night and splitting quickly]
Look, I don't care how hot you are, there's no PDA in the friggin' gym! There's this way hot woman in there last night, and she's smooching with her boyfriend by the squat machine. Cripes. Ok, well, I'm assuming that's a boyfriend ... I guess she could be paying for her training sessions or something.
Tonight, the coolest dudes in music, Ed and Frank, will be playing at the Austin Grill in Canton at 9. I'm not sure it gets any better than that, unless they decide to play at Portside someday. Or in my backyard. Hmm ...
Arrrrrrrrriba!
posted by AxnJxn at 5:43 AM
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