Hey, it's no secret that I'm no genius. On the other hand, I may be dumb, but I'm not stupid. I've just come to the conclusion that going to bed at 5:30 am, even if you have nothing to do the next day, isn't always a great idea. In fact, it's generally a really, really bad idea, although it seems like pure brilliance at the time.
Guess what time I crashed on Saturday? That's right ... 5:30. We went out to ... aw, hell, I don't know where we went, somewhere in Arlington. I think there might have been some alcohol served along the lines. I also managed not to talk to a single woman all night that I didn't already know. What the hell's up with DC women? I'm thinking of getting a grant to study this phenomenon.
It's time for this blog's edition of Fun With Cats. Ready? This is a basic one. Pet 'em backwards, tail to head, then watch their reaction. Make sure you do it a couple of times, so that their hair gets nice and rumpled. Yup, my cats pretty much hate me sometimes, but I'm the dude with the food, so I can get away with it. Plus, I make up for it later with the magic cat brush, which not only makes them look soooo pretty (and we all know cats must look pretty), it also causes enough static cling to power the car in Back To The Future.
So, I'm trying to drink a lot more water these days. I bought this gallon sized thingy of water at the Royal Farms, which is the finest convenience store around ... well, it's pretty much the only convenience store around, unless liquor stores count as convenience stores, which I don't think they do ... hey, what the hell was I just talking about? Oh, yes, water. So, anyway, I buy this big assed thing, and now I'm one of those dorks who walks around with a gallon of water every day. The cool thing is, a gallon of water is a LOT of liquid. I was looking at it today - I'm thinking that's around 5 bladders of water. Needless to say, I'm in the bathroom all the friggin' time now. I'm thinking of moving my office in there, just to save walkin'.
It gets even more fun. On the weekends, as we all know, I have a tendency to drink. Now, normally, a lot of this water comes out, but when I drink my favorite booze and caffeine combo, it ALL comes out. I think that's why I only go to a few bars anymore ... I have to whiz so much I can't make it to another bar without going. Had to stop in the alley a few weeks ago, cuz I couldn't make it, which is always interesting.
I seem to be writing about whizzing a lot lately. Hmm. There's a theory here somewhere, I just haven't found it yet.
Fun with Office People ... put on trance music, then watch their reactions as they walk by. Most common expression is along the lines of if you were to start calling everyone "Spanky" and smacking them on the ass. In fact, I might have to try that combo.
It's not possible to ask someone if they've seen the movie Snatch without feeling skeevy. That's a proven theory right there. Unless you're Christopher Walken. I'm pretty sure he can get away asking anyone anything, and it's just going to sound scary.
Have I mentioned that I'm going back to Vegas in ... mmm ... 13 days? Well, I am. So there. Just got an email with the specifics on the suites will be in at Mandalay Bay. Great googily moogily! I have a feeling this might be a whole lot more fun than last time. As a bonus, I should be getting my tax refund back just before I leave. Nice! I figure as long as I don't come back all sticky, I should be ok ... I'll let you use your imagination on that one.
If you don't drink caffeine much, drinking a diet Mountain Dew is fairly close to doing cocaine. Just an FYI.
Ok, I'll admit it - Survivor has jumped the shark. As if that isn't bad enough, there's zero eye candy this time around. Eesh.
Plan for the weekend - drinkin'. I might get a sub from Quizno's at some point. Yup, that's pretty much it. Thanks for playin'.
Some yutz at the gym stole my jump rope. I hide it behind this cabinet, and it was gone yesterday, and it wasn't at the Lost and Found. I mean, c'mon now people! Unless you're tying up your girlfriend with it for fun sex, that's totally uncool.
Guess what time I crashed on Saturday? That's right ... 5:30. We went out to ... aw, hell, I don't know where we went, somewhere in Arlington. I think there might have been some alcohol served along the lines. I also managed not to talk to a single woman all night that I didn't already know. What the hell's up with DC women? I'm thinking of getting a grant to study this phenomenon.
It's time for this blog's edition of Fun With Cats. Ready? This is a basic one. Pet 'em backwards, tail to head, then watch their reaction. Make sure you do it a couple of times, so that their hair gets nice and rumpled. Yup, my cats pretty much hate me sometimes, but I'm the dude with the food, so I can get away with it. Plus, I make up for it later with the magic cat brush, which not only makes them look soooo pretty (and we all know cats must look pretty), it also causes enough static cling to power the car in Back To The Future.
So, I'm trying to drink a lot more water these days. I bought this gallon sized thingy of water at the Royal Farms, which is the finest convenience store around ... well, it's pretty much the only convenience store around, unless liquor stores count as convenience stores, which I don't think they do ... hey, what the hell was I just talking about? Oh, yes, water. So, anyway, I buy this big assed thing, and now I'm one of those dorks who walks around with a gallon of water every day. The cool thing is, a gallon of water is a LOT of liquid. I was looking at it today - I'm thinking that's around 5 bladders of water. Needless to say, I'm in the bathroom all the friggin' time now. I'm thinking of moving my office in there, just to save walkin'.
It gets even more fun. On the weekends, as we all know, I have a tendency to drink. Now, normally, a lot of this water comes out, but when I drink my favorite booze and caffeine combo, it ALL comes out. I think that's why I only go to a few bars anymore ... I have to whiz so much I can't make it to another bar without going. Had to stop in the alley a few weeks ago, cuz I couldn't make it, which is always interesting.
I seem to be writing about whizzing a lot lately. Hmm. There's a theory here somewhere, I just haven't found it yet.
Fun with Office People ... put on trance music, then watch their reactions as they walk by. Most common expression is along the lines of if you were to start calling everyone "Spanky" and smacking them on the ass. In fact, I might have to try that combo.
It's not possible to ask someone if they've seen the movie Snatch without feeling skeevy. That's a proven theory right there. Unless you're Christopher Walken. I'm pretty sure he can get away asking anyone anything, and it's just going to sound scary.
Have I mentioned that I'm going back to Vegas in ... mmm ... 13 days? Well, I am. So there. Just got an email with the specifics on the suites will be in at Mandalay Bay. Great googily moogily! I have a feeling this might be a whole lot more fun than last time. As a bonus, I should be getting my tax refund back just before I leave. Nice! I figure as long as I don't come back all sticky, I should be ok ... I'll let you use your imagination on that one.
If you don't drink caffeine much, drinking a diet Mountain Dew is fairly close to doing cocaine. Just an FYI.
Ok, I'll admit it - Survivor has jumped the shark. As if that isn't bad enough, there's zero eye candy this time around. Eesh.
Plan for the weekend - drinkin'. I might get a sub from Quizno's at some point. Yup, that's pretty much it. Thanks for playin'.
Some yutz at the gym stole my jump rope. I hide it behind this cabinet, and it was gone yesterday, and it wasn't at the Lost and Found. I mean, c'mon now people! Unless you're tying up your girlfriend with it for fun sex, that's totally uncool.
posted by AxnJxn at 7:02 PM
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