A heroin addict, B&J, and when poker ain't sex
I just started working at Hopkins, and I'm doing some observation in one of our units. I get to hang out in the reception area, and this is some of the extra stuff I got to "observe" today ...
- This lady told me her entire life story, including how she used to be a heroin/cocaine addict (not seperately ... she shot those two li'l druggie pups at the same time, right in the ol' blood valve), how she would steal dope from her dealer boyfriend, and how he used to beat her. I'm a pretty good listener, but there are some things I don't really need to hear. Unfortunately, she wasn't single. That's a joke, people.
- These three young dudes came in, and spend most of the time saying "I'm Rick James, bitch" back and forth to each other on their cell phones. It was funny the first time, even though that bit is as old as Rick James himself, may he rest in some sort of peace. The 74th time, it got a bit old.
- Some lady got tossed out because she had a fit and started dropping MFer bombs all over the lobby. It was like a war zone with all them bombs, people. I'm still a little shell shocked. I'm a quaint and fragile little soul, doncha know.
- This lady was in the waiting room, and I guess she was in a lot of pain, because she kept moaning. Problem was, her moans sounded disturbingly sexual. I mean, I watched Bikini Airways on Skinemax the other night, and this lady was topping that soundtrack. Very, very strange. I may never have sex again. Mmm, never mind. I just remembered that I really enjoy sex.
- Two different dudes fell asleep in the waiting room and were snoring loud enough to keep everyone else wide awake ... yet they kept on sleeping. Fascinating. The first time, it almost rattled the pen out of my hand, and I think it woke up Liberace.
So, I've got 3 more days of this. It's an inner city hospital, so there's always something wacky going on.
They just announced the lineup for the HFStival, and I think I'm actually going. Friggin' BILLY IDOL is in the lineup! I said BILLY IDOL! I almost missed a football game in my senior year of high school to go to one of his concerts, that's how much I like the dude. Sing along with me ... FLESH ... FLESH FOR FANTASY! Whew. Oh, and there's like 20 some other bands playing, too. Whatever.
Although ... Coldplay is one of them, which is very cool. I like me some Coldplay, baby. God put a smile on your face, and all that stuff. Plus, the lead singer is boppin' Gwenyth Paltrow. You go, lead singer dude. Keep naming your kids after fruit. Can't wait for Kiwi Paltrow.
It's official. Ben and/or Jerry are bastards. They just released FOUR new flavors. Four! I'm burning all kinds of calories here on this new workout plan, and those SOBs come out with four new flavors. I'm thinking of hiring a hot chick with an STD to go visit those two. Let's see them develop new flavors when they have the friggin' clap.
Hey, when a hot chick asks you if you want to play poker, is she talking about cards? Well, if you're me, she is. Bummer. I mean, I like cards, but ...
I don't really get text messaging. I have it on my phone, and every time I do it, I'm mentally just kicking myself in the ass for not just CALLING the person. I mean, I'm holding a PHONE in my hand, writing a message! No one ever said I was smart.O
k, that's enough for now. I think they're re-running Bikini Airways on the 'Skin. Sleep tight, my pups.
I just started working at Hopkins, and I'm doing some observation in one of our units. I get to hang out in the reception area, and this is some of the extra stuff I got to "observe" today ...
- This lady told me her entire life story, including how she used to be a heroin/cocaine addict (not seperately ... she shot those two li'l druggie pups at the same time, right in the ol' blood valve), how she would steal dope from her dealer boyfriend, and how he used to beat her. I'm a pretty good listener, but there are some things I don't really need to hear. Unfortunately, she wasn't single. That's a joke, people.
- These three young dudes came in, and spend most of the time saying "I'm Rick James, bitch" back and forth to each other on their cell phones. It was funny the first time, even though that bit is as old as Rick James himself, may he rest in some sort of peace. The 74th time, it got a bit old.
- Some lady got tossed out because she had a fit and started dropping MFer bombs all over the lobby. It was like a war zone with all them bombs, people. I'm still a little shell shocked. I'm a quaint and fragile little soul, doncha know.
- This lady was in the waiting room, and I guess she was in a lot of pain, because she kept moaning. Problem was, her moans sounded disturbingly sexual. I mean, I watched Bikini Airways on Skinemax the other night, and this lady was topping that soundtrack. Very, very strange. I may never have sex again. Mmm, never mind. I just remembered that I really enjoy sex.
- Two different dudes fell asleep in the waiting room and were snoring loud enough to keep everyone else wide awake ... yet they kept on sleeping. Fascinating. The first time, it almost rattled the pen out of my hand, and I think it woke up Liberace.
So, I've got 3 more days of this. It's an inner city hospital, so there's always something wacky going on.
They just announced the lineup for the HFStival, and I think I'm actually going. Friggin' BILLY IDOL is in the lineup! I said BILLY IDOL! I almost missed a football game in my senior year of high school to go to one of his concerts, that's how much I like the dude. Sing along with me ... FLESH ... FLESH FOR FANTASY! Whew. Oh, and there's like 20 some other bands playing, too. Whatever.
Although ... Coldplay is one of them, which is very cool. I like me some Coldplay, baby. God put a smile on your face, and all that stuff. Plus, the lead singer is boppin' Gwenyth Paltrow. You go, lead singer dude. Keep naming your kids after fruit. Can't wait for Kiwi Paltrow.
It's official. Ben and/or Jerry are bastards. They just released FOUR new flavors. Four! I'm burning all kinds of calories here on this new workout plan, and those SOBs come out with four new flavors. I'm thinking of hiring a hot chick with an STD to go visit those two. Let's see them develop new flavors when they have the friggin' clap.
Hey, when a hot chick asks you if you want to play poker, is she talking about cards? Well, if you're me, she is. Bummer. I mean, I like cards, but ...
I don't really get text messaging. I have it on my phone, and every time I do it, I'm mentally just kicking myself in the ass for not just CALLING the person. I mean, I'm holding a PHONE in my hand, writing a message! No one ever said I was smart.O
k, that's enough for now. I think they're re-running Bikini Airways on the 'Skin. Sleep tight, my pups.
posted by AxnJxn at 1:44 PM
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